A few thoughts on Biblical leadership

          I don't really consider myself a leader but today I found myself turning in my application to be on the BCM's leadership team again next year. Still, I just don't see it. This is the despite the fact that I was co-guild leader back in my WoW days, led a family group at Super Summer last year and have been co-leader of the missions team (and so on the BCM leadership team) this past school year. Oh, and I'm studying high school science education. What's up with that?
          The truth is, it's not about me. It's about God and God's people. Just about everyone in the Bible God called on to serve Him were not qualified by the world's standards. They were cowards (like Gideon), from lowly professions (David was a shepherd boy, Rahab was a prostitute) or handicapped (Abraham and Sarah were too old to have children, Moses might have been a stutterer). Much of the time, even they questioned God, "You want to use ME? Do you know who you're asking? I can't do that."
          Yet they did. When they stepped back from seeing their own shortcomings and failures and trusted in God to work, God came through! He did things with and through them that we still marvel at centuries later. A quote I've heard often is: "God doesn't call the equipped but equips the called."
          I've seen this in my own life. At Passion this year, I realized that I feared my problems were too big for God to work out or through. I wanted to let Him do amazing things with and through me but I was so worried I would get in the way and screw it up. All it takes a little reflection, though, to see how God has worked out and through my problems. That's sanctification. There will always an area in which we can grow more like Christ. It's not a bad thing at all. We'll never stop becoming more like Christ yet somehow more like who we were meant to be and I find that amazing.

          So what does it take to be a leader for God? Faith and obedience. Faith is why you trusted in Him in the first place; it's what will help you obey. Sometimes we're told to wait, other times to act. If we just do as He says, He does the rest. He planned for it way in advance!
          Fall of 2011 (see 3rd paragraph), I was itching to act on my faith but I didn't know what. Then Dustin Sams comes to the BCM worship and preaches out of James, faith results in works. He plugs staffing Super Summer and I applied. I'm a sedentary introvert. Why would I go to a camp hosting 2,800 teens, screaming, yelling, dancing and acting like a fool to get them pumped up? I was really anxious right on through the staff training in the days before the camp. But then something happened, I had a break down. It was during the second day of training and prep. I welcomed it. I was crying in the bathroom calling on God to work out of me what needed working out. People kept asking me what was wrong and trying to encourage me. I told them to let it be, it needed to happen.
          For the rest of the camp, I was fine. I was exhausted, losing my voice but I was still cheering, singing and dancing. I was an encouragement to the campers and fellow staffers. I got to know and love my girls, all 24 of them (12 each for the junior and senior camps). Guess what? At the end of the camp, I was crying again. I was exhausted, overwhelmed and it was over. Another staffer at breakfast the next day actually asked me if I was okay because I was so quiet. I had to explain: nothing's wrong, this is the normal me.
          In applying to staff, I was scared out of my wits but I knew God wanted me to do it. I knew I needed a challenge. Even now, I'm still daunted by what I'm being called to, and by the growth I desire and have asked for. Yet, when I've trusted in God and done as He asked, I've experienced amazing things. After faith and obedience, all I really need to be a leader is a love for and desire to serve others. In the end, we're not leaders to lord over subjects and make them do our bidding, we're servants working to build up and equip fellow believers to do and be what God desires (Ephesians 4:11-13). I have that. I can do that. So I will.

Ephesians 3:16-21 I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.
Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

On Faith and Science

Introduction and Disclaimer
          I am a Christian and a scientist. Let me just say up front that this is my opinion and that like everyone else, I feel I am right. I could be wrong but I'd like to think this an enlightened view.

My Argument
     I believe there is no conflict between my faith [:heart:] and science [science!]. Those who disagree [I feel] don't really understand either.

[Let's start with the faith side.]
The Gospel According to Me

As a Christian, my faith hinges on what I feel is important:

1. I am saved by grace and my belief that Jesus [who is divine] came to this world and died on the cross for my sins.
   
2. God is love. God loves me and he pours his love into me. I can't help but share that love because it truly does overflow and there's no way to contain it.
   
3. My faith and love compel me to action. I ever seek to live in truth and love. The two greatest commandments (Luke 10:27) say to ['Love the Lord your God with all your heart and all your soul and all your mind and all your mind' and 'Love your neighbor as yourself'.]. I must care for others. Not just my friends or peers but also those I may not like, my enemies. There is no room for hate or apathy in my faith.
   
4. Everything else is details. You get into laws, explanations, clarifications. It’s like those first three were the Constitution of the U.S. and the rest are like laws and court rulings.

          When you find the simple principles of truth and love difficult to apply to a situation, you look at the rest for clarification. That isn’t to say that beyond the Gospel, the Bible is useless. It’s important in guiding how I live out my faith but my belief does not (and should not) hinge on any more or less than God’s love and Jesus’ sacrifice.

[So what about literal interpretation?]
          This is a tricky question that I cannot hope to answer. Bible scholars have studied this one for centuries. There are places in the Bible that are literal and there are places that are steeped in symbolism. Sometimes it’s both. For a lay-person like me, it’s not easy to determine.
          I believe the creation story shows us God’s power, even his nature. It’s a very poetic account of God calling things into being and creating order out of chaos. Is it literal? It’s hard to say. The word “day” in Hebrew can refer to daylight, a literal 24-hour day, or an unspecified period of time.
          This is where day-age creationists come in: those who believe that “day” in this sense is an unspecified period of time. Thus, “evening” would mean the end of an age, and “morning” would refer to the beginning of another. We can't know but it's an interesting view.

[Now let's look at science.]
Nature of science
          I wrote a ten page research paper on this, I know what I'm talking about.
          Science is reliable yet tentative. Everything we know is tested repeatedly. We come up with the best explanation we can given the evidence (and there's a TON of it). That explanation is and will continue to be accepted until new evidence challenges it. At that time, the theory will be modified or completely thrown out for a new one.
          Theories: In the vernacular, they are little more than conjecture or speculation, such as "I kinda think it might be like this". In science, the term theory carries vastly more weight. It is an explanation greatly supported by evidence gained and repeatedly confirmed through observation and experimentation.
          Science requires consensus; there will be no consensus without evidence. For instance, a person can publish a paper saying they've perfected cold fusion. The media will have a hey-day over it but the scientific community will remain skeptical until that person's results are confirmed by other scientists following the same procedure under the same conditions and getting results consistent with the first person's results. The peer-review process is important. Discussion is important. This is part of why it takes time for new theories to be accepted. Evidence must be gathered and confirmed. The theory has to make sense.
          So, people who say they don't believe evolution are extremely misguided at best. Evolution is not a faith to be accepted or believed in, it just is. People don't question (as often or openly) atomic theory or cell theory. Evolution or the big bang shouldn't be any different. These theories are the best explanations given the evidence.

[What about creationism?]
It's bad science.
          Literal 24-hr/6-day creationism is simply not supported by the evidence. Does this mean I believe God had no hand in the creation of the universe as we know it? Of course not, I believe he did it.
          Science, for me, is discovering how. I and my Christian friends (who are also scientists) get this. When you learn about the complexity of the human body alone, it's staggering. It's not mere chance it turned out the way it did but the result of a beautiful, intricate process resulting in what we see today.

[Um, okay?]
Let's try a metaphor
          I am writing a story [that I won't go into much detail now]. In that story has [for lack of a better explanation], a god. That "god" has this tile array [much like dominoes standing up] that he has set in place. Every tile in that array represents an action and/or reaction. The first tile was pushed and everything was set in motion.
          That's how I see it. God’s hand is in every one of those actions and reactions. His plan is complex array: sequence of events, actions and reactions all leading to this moment which is, in turn, an event leading to something else further down the line.

[So, now what?]
In conclusion
          We weren't there in the beginning. We can't know for sure unless we were. Again, scientific theories say one thing. Right know that's what we know and what we're sticking to until another, better explanation comes along.
          My faith shouldn't be shaken by something as trivial as creation versus evolution or the big bang theory. If it is, then I've lose sight of what is important. What's important is that I believe in something greater than me, something good and it inspires me to be the best person I can be...and there are no laws against that.

I'm In Better Hands Now

          Despite the fact that I should be stressing over all that needs to be done, I'm not that worried. I still need to do 2.5 chapters of homework for physics, prepare for labs, catch up on notes, and go where I need to go and make it there on time. But I'm not stressing. I've really been at peace these past few days. It's as if I've found an island of calm in the storm of my life. It may be that at this point, I'm too tired to stress. Either I do what I need to do or I don't. The results are my fault and no one else. It could be God is providing of course. In his own strange mysterious way.
          I've finally canceled my World of Warcraft subscription. I told guild/friends about that fact. They make exceptions for military members about kicking them out after 2 weeks of no activity. I'll probably buy some game time for winter break. I've been in the guild for over a year and an officer in it for much of that time, it counts for something. They're so nice. I miss playing. If I could manage my time better I would not have had to cancel. Oh well. As I've said, consequences are the results of actions I take full responsibility for. I may not like it but, "It's my own damn fault." (Pardon the language but you have to agree).
          I've been trying to work out something (very quickly) about spring room- and suite-mate arrangements. My friends Grace and Ali are currently rooming together in the same apartment complex as me. Grace is spending spring semester abroad. I suggested Ali switch with my suite-mates. If nothing else, I'd move in with her so she would avoid a random roommate she doesn't know, or worse wouldn't like. Everyone except Grace & Ali's suitemates (whose positions I am unsure of yet) is for it. Keep your fingers crossed that it all works out.
          My head is so full yet empty these days. Like flitting birds, thoughts fly around but I cannot grab them. I'm feeling the need to be productive with so much to do but nothing really gets done. If only my newer laptop wasn't in a coma.
          My newer laptop that I got back in June was screwed. After downloading and installing an update last week I let it restart. As it was starting up it said something was wrong, so it did some sort of check and fix up thing. It told me it couldn't fix it! It then continues with start up and gets stuck on a regular disk check. It's really frustrating because I took it in to be checked over a month ago but Best Buy is no help. I'm taking it into some place called Wired (Solutions?) where I hear they're really good at helping for a reasonable price.
          I'm considering costumes for a Halloween party. Katie suggested a geisha, vampire or witch. When I told some of my other friends, Caleb suggested my doing all three. Max then said that idea was "very Japanese". It was funny, but you kind of had to be there to get how funny it was. What do you think? I'm going to look at costumes when I drop off my laptop to get looked at.
          Well, I've spent way too long working on this entry. I'll attempt to do something productive now. Love, grace and peace to you until I write again.