Brooding Walls
Today was not a bad day by any means but it wasn't great either. I feel a bit melancholy. I'm inclined to blame biology: poor sleep habits and other fun stuff probably wrecking into my peace. Well, maybe it's more than biology...We were talking in church tonight about spiritual warfare (reading Corinthians 10:3-6) and one thing that came up was tearing down walls. We need to be open with each other and share our struggles so that we can build each other up and strengthen the Body of Christ (not continue to wallow in our dysfunctionality). We talked about ways to tear the walls down and prevent them from building up in the first place.
All this didn't really sink in until the ride home when I'd realized a few walls of my own had gone up. Every day I didn't read my Bible, didn't talk meaningfully with God and allow myself to be totally led by the spirit was another brick on that wall. The mortar is apathy and the bricks that should be used to build the Kingdom are instead being added to the wall. I can kind of tell when I'm allowing my spiritual muscles to atrophy: I waste my time more, my head gets full of useless junk that muddles my thoughts and feelings, things just don't seem in line and my resilience for life's ups and downs (even the minor ones) just goes to pot. I hate it. I feel unwell (on so many levels), a little (a lot) dirty and rather unhappy (if not downright blue).
This is the part where many Christians stumble and simply give up. That's not how it goes. If you find yourself tripping up, check where you're going, reorient towards Him and get moving again. It's that simple. Hey, I didn't say it was easy. So now that I've realized I'm stumbling on rocks (because, hey, I'm off the trail) I'm going to focus on the goal and get back on track. Everything else will fall back into place, or (at least) things that aren't falling perfectly in place won't seem like that big a deal.
Learning is awesome
So, about school: I'm...not hating it. I'd be enjoying it more if I wasn't on a spiritual detour. Physics isn't so bad and Biochem is a lot of fun with Dr. Kelley. I've lately been of the opinion that scientists are bit a strange; chemists are crazy but biochemists are on another level. Dr. Kelley is proof this. It's entertaining and she's actually a pretty good teacher. She states often that she wants us to think on our feet. Most of my classmates are pre-med, pre-pharm, pre-something-really-hard-and-maybe-life-saving so she wants to be able to trust these people with such important things. I've decided to pay attention to how she teaches that. I'd like to pass that on to my students (just because I'm not taking an education class doesn't mean I'm not thinking about it).
First labs are picking up this week (finally!). Monday's organic 2 lab was...interesting. Everyone was lost and even though I'd worked on this reaction for several weeks last semester it had been at least two months so I was a bit unsure when answering questions. A few of the students weren't so happy about how their reactions were going but I assured them it was all right. We make mistakes, figure out what went wrong and move on. Another simple-but-not-easy thing to do. I was very open about sharing my mishaps in lab with the students to lessen their tension and dismay when it seemed things weren't going quite right.
On a tangent, I've realized I don't really care about being wrong anymore. This is mainly in the context of learning: answering questions in class and working on assignments, etc. When I get it wrong, that's okay! It's an opportunity to learn. Yes, indeed. Trust me, when you get it wrong and then find your way to what is correct, you've learned it better than simply getting it right the first time. So be bold and be wrong! Then learn so you'll be more awesome than you were before. Praise God! I get excited just thinking about it. lmao.
Well, this has been cathartic. If you've read this far, I'm impressed. Thank you. I love you. Marry me. Well...don't set a date.
Bye! [enthusiastic wave]
Showing posts with label school. Show all posts
Showing posts with label school. Show all posts
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Sunday, May 9, 2010
May's intercession from life
I've had very few plans. They're not the ones I had during school: 12pm Physics, 1pm Organic Spectroscopy, 2pm Monday and Wednesdays were lab, etc. Now they're more like: Tuesday go to Fayetteville for a few days. Next Tuesday look at furniture. Thursday, go to kickboxing. Monday have lunch with Caleb. Haha! I kind of like it, but not? It's nice to have a really open schedule but I guess I need more structure throughout the day to feel productive. A daily plan like: go for walk, read my Bible/pray, write 1,500 words and/or do a deviantART journal skin design&code all for the morning. Midday-afternoon would be internet time (facebook, twitter, deviantART, etc.) and late afternoon-evening would be WoW. I could work with that. Getting into a routine is good for creativity. Ask any writer and they'll tell you.
So what's happened in the past month? End of classes, finals and two weeks of open time. It would take a while to cover everything in detail. I loved the end of classes. Thursday night we have a movie night (Kingdom of Heaven and Dark Knight, I think) before we all go to IHOP at midnight and feast on pancakes, omelets, and chicken strips. There were about 18 people that made it. Friday night we get together again to watch Startgate Universe and dance in the rain. Two amazing nights.
All weekend I work on my last Organic Spectroscopy assignment. I sat under my lofted bed with the blinds open. My roommates must have thought I was crazy sitting under there, singing to the music on my mp3 player and interpreting spectra. Monday was Organic Spectroscopy; I felt pretty good about that test. I filled the afternoon and evening working on my study guides for Tuesday's Organic Chemistry test. Looking back, I should have made one for the first test. It would have cut down the time I'd spent making those study guides. I did okay on that final. It was enough to get out with a B (okay a B is pretty awesome considering the past few semesters). It's clear I missed some of the details but I really feel I walked away from that course with a good grasp of the fundamental concepts. Tuesday afternoon Desireé stuck with me, trying to help me study and work on lab reports for physics. She saw me run the gamut of emotions in a very compact space of time. I refuse to complain about it all, though. I put myself in that position.
Wednesday was physics. It was a truly humbling experience to put it mildly. I'll leave it at that. I spent that afternoon and evening working on my field experience reflection and going over the material for Classroom Management (not comprehensive). The CM test was the best I think. I tore through that test in two hours. Oh wait. lol. It was nice though, everyone was calm and/or cheerful at the test; total contrast to the stress and gloom of the others. I even gave out my gum to nearly everyone in the room (new pack). I answered all the questions well, and even used my cowboy friend as inspiration for an unmotivated student (and what I would do to motivate him).
Friday I helped a few friends move out, spent some time "being nomads and having a jam session" in Dustin's car with Haley (S, that is), had dinner at Old Chicago and a movie night. Or maybe we just watched Stargate and played that Smash Bros.? I don't remember, it was all good though. :D Ever since I've been taking it easy, not really doing much but trying to get out of the apartment and into fresh air at least once a day.
I spent a few days in Fayetteville with David and Katie. I arrived in high spirits and finally found a way to have ethanol without suffering: get a very low proof mixed drink of a restaurant chain and drink very slowly (I won't get buzzed but that's never my goal). I think it was a kind of lemonade. Though...I still prefer water, Sierra Mist/Sprite or better yet, root beer. Anyway, at some point we get a hair dye kit and dye my hair a richer, warmer color but it wasn't lighter. I eventually bought another dye kit with a much lighter shade but I don't know anything about dying hair. I play WoW and get excited over carboxylic acid derivatives. I'm rather ambiguous when it comes to being a girly girl, a borderline tomboy, and a softcore nerd/geek; I'm a bit of everything but don't fall into neat categories.
Anyway, we saw Iron Man 2. I got all excited when Stark discovered a new element. I gasped in such a way that Katie asked me if I was getting a little too excited. (lmao) What can I say? I like science and I especially love chemistry. We ate at this place called Super Chicken at one point. It was really good but there was a tornado warning in the county and Katie was getting kind of nervous about it. Nothing happened where we were, though; so it's all good. I also got a new dress (all three words a separate links :D). It's officially my favorite summer dress. Well...yeah, it is. It's cotton, it's comfortable and I feel good in it. (That's all that matters ladies, don't worry about what others say!)
We tried to go to the Botanical Garden of the Ozarks but David wasn't down for the $5 entry fee (lol). It was a rather depressing several days, truth be told. Being cut off my spiritual family and facing my shortcomings (I probably needed the humbling experience) really dragged me down. Sleeping on the floor didn't help, I bet. Two mats on the floor is okay for one night but any longer starts to get painful. It would have been worse with the air mattress, they lose pressure to easily and I need it to be firm. Before coming back to Conway, I saw How to Train Your Dragon with David. It was cute. Nice graphics, I even liked how the main character acted like a scientist and observed the dragons instead of trying to kill them. Not a deep movie by any means but a nice family movie nonetheless.
What else...? Oh! I took my buddy Trevor to LDMA (a martial arts school) a couple times this month. He seems to really like it there. I went there for a couple years while I was going to junior college (before I transferred to UCA). It was kind of silly to expect that I could just jump right back in to those hardcore workouts and do well after three years of being gone and probably not hydrated enough for the day.
Trying to get back into WoW but it just doesn't appeal to me like it used to. There may be a few reasons for this, among them: real life interaction is preferable (unless you're playing it together. in the same room. then that's awesome), it feels like a chore! I have one level 80 character (Keyaru) and she's not geared well enough to do some of the better raids. (I don't expect most of you to understand that last sentence.) I'm sick of questing in Icecrown, achievements are taking a while, grinding for reputation, running randoms (random dungeons) for emblems for better gear...such a chore. All these things allow me to be kind of ADD about what I do in the game but it's so boring! I don't feel like working my alts (other characters) either. /sigh Oh well.
I've been able to pick up deviantART journal skin requests again. Did two just today. I'm really hoping to get into my writing again, too but I'm having trouble continuing my book. I guess I just need to sit down and do it, seems it easier when I make myself do it. I'm so close to the end! I can feel it.
Man, I really need to post more often, that way my posts won't be so long...oh, who am I kidding? They'd still be fairly long if I posted every week. Or maybe not. I don't know. That's the important stuff for now. I'll try to post something when I move into my new apartment, hopefully next week.
Friday, April 9, 2010
An interesting year
Ah, the final stretch. We're in that final month of school in which our professors realize we only have one month of school before finals and therefore must cram as much information into the remaining lectures as possible. Well, if they've mismanaged their time they are. Of course, the snow days we had at the beginning of the school year have certainly put kinks into even the best-laid plans. :shrug: C'est la vie.
As the editor loaded, I realized that it's been almost a year since I created this blog and made my first post. So much has happened since then. You can see how much things have changed since then. I think I can also see the cycle I go through each semester of hope and excitement to diligence to stress to more stress to dropping the ball to disappointment to resignation to eagerness for the semester to be over. Is that about how your semester goes? This time I've fought the resignation and...well, I'll explain more in a bit.
So, since my last post (I loved all your comments), or rather my next-to-last post, a lot has happened. Sunday evening before classes started again I got together with Drew, Austin, Caleb and Ian and we all prayed for the coming weeks. That we would all maintain focus, do what we needed to do and trust God to take of care everything. In the time since then, I've just had so much joy and love and my heart. It's almost as if God was preparing me for the stresses that I would encounter.
I get back to school and my scheduling problems were worked out by the end of the day, I got that extra credit hour I needed for my preferred schedule. Wednesday I talked to my adviser. That evening I registered for all my classes. Thursday morning that extra credit hour was added to my schedule as well. What is that final credit hour? Well, I was offered an amazing opportunity and I seized it immediately. It was exactly what I needed when I needed it. Well, it's rather humble lab work but it's right up my chemistry education alley. I'm hopeful that future chemistry students at UCA will benefit from said humble lab work. I also hope to learn a few things about choosing and altering labs for when I teach. Pondering on the implications of this little yet significant event, I'm amazed at God's planning. I see these events, some discouraging, many hopeful, and all seemingly disconnected until you see them culminate in this. It's so beautiful.
This semester as a whole has been amazing. I'm learning things I realized I needed to learn and being used in ways I couldn't have fathomed. I've really been encouraged lately to learn that God is showing through. All I see in myself are my problems that need working on but I've been consistently told good things about myself. I almost can't believe it. Me? I'm a mess, so broken. Any good seen in me must come from God. There's no other explanation. It's so cool but I really feel I don't deserve any of it. That's another really beautiful thing.
Learning what I need to learn
Last semester, you may remember I took a teaching methods and materials class. At the end I taught a real lesson in a 9th grade physical science class. I got a lot of positive feedback in terms of how I did the lesson but areas I needed to improve in all boiled down to classroom management. I'm taking classroom management now and I think it's pretty cool that I'm in the one class I needed to work on that area of teaching.
Throughout this semester I've learned that I'm not very confident in my laboratory skills (specifically in chemistry). Granted, I've been right about a few things (like NMR tubes are not a recommended substitute for glass stirring rods) but my poor lab partner seems to be doing the lion's share of the work. So how's next semester looking? Well, three credit hours of the twelve I'm taking are labs. Every credit hour of lab equals about three hours actually spent in lab. I'll be spending six hours in quant lab (working alone, as my current lab partner in organic tells me) as well as the one credit hour of research. That's just the hands on. I plan on being a TA for two labs (I love being a TA), probably one organic lab (usually three hours) and a physiological chemistry lab (usually two hours). I earn minimum wage and those hours will pay the electric and internet bill easy. That's nice but what's really great about it is the experience. I get practice helping students in lab and reinforcing my knowledge of chemistry and lab techniques. I suppose I could also use that reference when I finally get to teaching.
On not giving up
About the non-resignation, I was told last Friday (not yesterday) in an email from the professor that I was not doing well in Organic Spectroscopy and would likely not being able to pass. There was a test Monday (over IR and NMR spectroscopy) and he didn't think I was prepared. Therefore, I should drop the class. Granted, he was right. I was not doing the homework and I failed the first test. That's not what bothered me about this. It was the underlying message: I don't see you making it, you should just quit. That was extremely upsetting to me. Communicating that lack of faith in and low expectations of me. By the time I'd read the email, it was too late to drop that day anyway. I lost it. I cried. I tried to pull myself together for movie night: I wiped the tears away and reapplied my eye liner. I show up at the apartment where we do movie night and I realize I'm not that strong. I head out the balcony and listen to my music to calm myself down.
No such luck. I realize Drew is trying to talk to me so I go back inside since I can't ignore him. He and Caleb see me all teary and I lose it again. I just cry. It's gotta be some kind of breakdown at this point. They talk me down and encourage me, telling me there might be a chance to fix it; talk to the professor to see if there's anything I can do, etc. I calm down, deciding not to quit though not entirely sure what to do. The next day I look at the syllabus to estimate my current grade in the class and determine if there is hope. I figure if I do really well on Monday's test, the final, and turn in all my homework between now and then, I can get out of the class with the minimum grade for credit. A long shot, but I'm hopeful. Sunday after church, I try working practice problems online but I don't really get anywhere. So I break out the text book and start working the problems at the end of the chapters I was going to be tested on. I was able to answer most of them but I was still a bit unsure. I think I spent about four or five hours on those problems before I go to bed.
Monday, I go into the test not entirely sure how it's going to go. I'm relieved to be given a couple sheets of standard shifts (one for IR peaks and another for proton and carbon-13 NMR, trust me when I say they're really helpful). I glance through the test and the last part are all problems from the book I had worked on Sunday! I had to stifle my joy, otherwise I might have squealed. I work through the test, hoping I got most of it right. I finish the test and hand it in, whispering that I am hopeful. I also noticed that I was the first to turn in the test (not that it's a race). I'm feeling pretty good about it, now.
Wednesdays I TA for my o-spec professor. I almost didn't go to work that morning because I was still a bit sore about those words, despite the test. But I did and when I came in he said something to the effect of "I must have made you mad because you did really well on that test." He expressed a hope for my improvement and reminded me to do my homework. Come time for o-spec, I get my test back and it's a 94! I nearly tackle Drew in the hallway after class. lol. I have hope...
God's plans in my life
...I just have to work at it. That's not anything I didn't already know. You could ask me after I screw up on something if I knew what I did wrong, I almost always tell you I know exactly what I did wrong. That's a bit frustrating thing for me: despite knowing better, I don't always do what's right or required of me. Part of my learning curve in college (this, five years in, three at UCA) is understanding myself and how to study.
All those classes I've repeated are reminders of why I should study and also of God's hand in my life. If I'd made my own plans, I'd be almost done with school. As it stands, I'll probably need an additional four more semesters at least before I'll be done. I'm starting to see this semester that I'm exactly where I need to be. In physics, Desireé is my lab partner. Physics is a subject I find really hard to like but having lab with her makes it so enjoyable. We uplift each other and make it fun. We laugh and giggle all the way through lab. I can't imagine bearing those labs without her.
Organic labs are great with Cris, he's such a patient lab partner. It's also nice to have Drew in the group next to ours. Lecture is that much more fun with John and Stephen. If I hadn't taken this class this semester, I'm sure I would not have been offered the amazing yet humble lab opportunity.
Friday was awesome
One last thing to share: yesterday was awesome! I think it started Thursday night with learning about my strengths and weaknesses in various spiritual gifts as well as a long and deep conversation with a brother struggling with some things. Anyway, yesterday was indicative of God placing me exactly where I needed to be and exercising my spiritual gifts. It really underscores how my life has changed in the past year. I got up early and took the car in for maintenance (meh).
I got a ride back to UCA courtesy of the business. The driver asked about my major, I said "Chemistry and teaching." "Why chemistry?" "Because I like it." "That's good answer." He talked about his daughter being an ag-ed teacher. We discussed school and teaching.
On a whim (actually, God's direction) I headed over the cafeteria (it was about 8:15-8:30 by this time) and had some water. The water is not important; what is important is that my friends showed up and we all talked. After they left some other friends showed up and I talked to them. It was really great to talk about my faith, my friendships, teaching, psychology and stuff like that.
After two hours in the cafeteria I leave. I end up in Laney and visit my favorite professor. I learn a little more about what will be expected of me in that opportunity I seized. We also had a nice chat about school, teaching and learning. It was really encouraging for us both I think. After that I go the student center and have lunch. I talk to a nice lady and her grandson (there for the geography bee) about school and learning (big shocker). The boy's mother (and the lady's daughter) was apparently a middle level science teacher. That was a cool conversation, too.
Finally it's time for physics at noon. Desiree is in a good mood but after class, not so much. I buy her lunch and we talk for nearly an hour about life, school, and just cheer each other up. She thanks me repeatedly for the lunch (seriously it's no trouble at all, :D). The afternoon winds down with a little (much needed) shopping before I head to movie night (a blast as always). That was my Friday and it was awesome.
If you've read this far, wow. It's a lot. Thanks for reading. I really do love you guys; you're all so amazing. I thank God every day for you as friends and mentors, sharing and caring and giving. Life is good.
As the editor loaded, I realized that it's been almost a year since I created this blog and made my first post. So much has happened since then. You can see how much things have changed since then. I think I can also see the cycle I go through each semester of hope and excitement to diligence to stress to more stress to dropping the ball to disappointment to resignation to eagerness for the semester to be over. Is that about how your semester goes? This time I've fought the resignation and...well, I'll explain more in a bit.
So, since my last post (I loved all your comments), or rather my next-to-last post, a lot has happened. Sunday evening before classes started again I got together with Drew, Austin, Caleb and Ian and we all prayed for the coming weeks. That we would all maintain focus, do what we needed to do and trust God to take of care everything. In the time since then, I've just had so much joy and love and my heart. It's almost as if God was preparing me for the stresses that I would encounter.
I get back to school and my scheduling problems were worked out by the end of the day, I got that extra credit hour I needed for my preferred schedule. Wednesday I talked to my adviser. That evening I registered for all my classes. Thursday morning that extra credit hour was added to my schedule as well. What is that final credit hour? Well, I was offered an amazing opportunity and I seized it immediately. It was exactly what I needed when I needed it. Well, it's rather humble lab work but it's right up my chemistry education alley. I'm hopeful that future chemistry students at UCA will benefit from said humble lab work. I also hope to learn a few things about choosing and altering labs for when I teach. Pondering on the implications of this little yet significant event, I'm amazed at God's planning. I see these events, some discouraging, many hopeful, and all seemingly disconnected until you see them culminate in this. It's so beautiful.
This semester as a whole has been amazing. I'm learning things I realized I needed to learn and being used in ways I couldn't have fathomed. I've really been encouraged lately to learn that God is showing through. All I see in myself are my problems that need working on but I've been consistently told good things about myself. I almost can't believe it. Me? I'm a mess, so broken. Any good seen in me must come from God. There's no other explanation. It's so cool but I really feel I don't deserve any of it. That's another really beautiful thing.
Learning what I need to learn
Last semester, you may remember I took a teaching methods and materials class. At the end I taught a real lesson in a 9th grade physical science class. I got a lot of positive feedback in terms of how I did the lesson but areas I needed to improve in all boiled down to classroom management. I'm taking classroom management now and I think it's pretty cool that I'm in the one class I needed to work on that area of teaching.
Throughout this semester I've learned that I'm not very confident in my laboratory skills (specifically in chemistry). Granted, I've been right about a few things (like NMR tubes are not a recommended substitute for glass stirring rods) but my poor lab partner seems to be doing the lion's share of the work. So how's next semester looking? Well, three credit hours of the twelve I'm taking are labs. Every credit hour of lab equals about three hours actually spent in lab. I'll be spending six hours in quant lab (working alone, as my current lab partner in organic tells me) as well as the one credit hour of research. That's just the hands on. I plan on being a TA for two labs (I love being a TA), probably one organic lab (usually three hours) and a physiological chemistry lab (usually two hours). I earn minimum wage and those hours will pay the electric and internet bill easy. That's nice but what's really great about it is the experience. I get practice helping students in lab and reinforcing my knowledge of chemistry and lab techniques. I suppose I could also use that reference when I finally get to teaching.
On not giving up
About the non-resignation, I was told last Friday (not yesterday) in an email from the professor that I was not doing well in Organic Spectroscopy and would likely not being able to pass. There was a test Monday (over IR and NMR spectroscopy) and he didn't think I was prepared. Therefore, I should drop the class. Granted, he was right. I was not doing the homework and I failed the first test. That's not what bothered me about this. It was the underlying message: I don't see you making it, you should just quit. That was extremely upsetting to me. Communicating that lack of faith in and low expectations of me. By the time I'd read the email, it was too late to drop that day anyway. I lost it. I cried. I tried to pull myself together for movie night: I wiped the tears away and reapplied my eye liner. I show up at the apartment where we do movie night and I realize I'm not that strong. I head out the balcony and listen to my music to calm myself down.
No such luck. I realize Drew is trying to talk to me so I go back inside since I can't ignore him. He and Caleb see me all teary and I lose it again. I just cry. It's gotta be some kind of breakdown at this point. They talk me down and encourage me, telling me there might be a chance to fix it; talk to the professor to see if there's anything I can do, etc. I calm down, deciding not to quit though not entirely sure what to do. The next day I look at the syllabus to estimate my current grade in the class and determine if there is hope. I figure if I do really well on Monday's test, the final, and turn in all my homework between now and then, I can get out of the class with the minimum grade for credit. A long shot, but I'm hopeful. Sunday after church, I try working practice problems online but I don't really get anywhere. So I break out the text book and start working the problems at the end of the chapters I was going to be tested on. I was able to answer most of them but I was still a bit unsure. I think I spent about four or five hours on those problems before I go to bed.
Monday, I go into the test not entirely sure how it's going to go. I'm relieved to be given a couple sheets of standard shifts (one for IR peaks and another for proton and carbon-13 NMR, trust me when I say they're really helpful). I glance through the test and the last part are all problems from the book I had worked on Sunday! I had to stifle my joy, otherwise I might have squealed. I work through the test, hoping I got most of it right. I finish the test and hand it in, whispering that I am hopeful. I also noticed that I was the first to turn in the test (not that it's a race). I'm feeling pretty good about it, now.
Wednesdays I TA for my o-spec professor. I almost didn't go to work that morning because I was still a bit sore about those words, despite the test. But I did and when I came in he said something to the effect of "I must have made you mad because you did really well on that test." He expressed a hope for my improvement and reminded me to do my homework. Come time for o-spec, I get my test back and it's a 94! I nearly tackle Drew in the hallway after class. lol. I have hope...
God's plans in my life
...I just have to work at it. That's not anything I didn't already know. You could ask me after I screw up on something if I knew what I did wrong, I almost always tell you I know exactly what I did wrong. That's a bit frustrating thing for me: despite knowing better, I don't always do what's right or required of me. Part of my learning curve in college (this, five years in, three at UCA) is understanding myself and how to study.
All those classes I've repeated are reminders of why I should study and also of God's hand in my life. If I'd made my own plans, I'd be almost done with school. As it stands, I'll probably need an additional four more semesters at least before I'll be done. I'm starting to see this semester that I'm exactly where I need to be. In physics, Desireé is my lab partner. Physics is a subject I find really hard to like but having lab with her makes it so enjoyable. We uplift each other and make it fun. We laugh and giggle all the way through lab. I can't imagine bearing those labs without her.
Organic labs are great with Cris, he's such a patient lab partner. It's also nice to have Drew in the group next to ours. Lecture is that much more fun with John and Stephen. If I hadn't taken this class this semester, I'm sure I would not have been offered the amazing yet humble lab opportunity.
Friday was awesome
One last thing to share: yesterday was awesome! I think it started Thursday night with learning about my strengths and weaknesses in various spiritual gifts as well as a long and deep conversation with a brother struggling with some things. Anyway, yesterday was indicative of God placing me exactly where I needed to be and exercising my spiritual gifts. It really underscores how my life has changed in the past year. I got up early and took the car in for maintenance (meh).
I got a ride back to UCA courtesy of the business. The driver asked about my major, I said "Chemistry and teaching." "Why chemistry?" "Because I like it." "That's good answer." He talked about his daughter being an ag-ed teacher. We discussed school and teaching.
On a whim (actually, God's direction) I headed over the cafeteria (it was about 8:15-8:30 by this time) and had some water. The water is not important; what is important is that my friends showed up and we all talked. After they left some other friends showed up and I talked to them. It was really great to talk about my faith, my friendships, teaching, psychology and stuff like that.
After two hours in the cafeteria I leave. I end up in Laney and visit my favorite professor. I learn a little more about what will be expected of me in that opportunity I seized. We also had a nice chat about school, teaching and learning. It was really encouraging for us both I think. After that I go the student center and have lunch. I talk to a nice lady and her grandson (there for the geography bee) about school and learning (big shocker). The boy's mother (and the lady's daughter) was apparently a middle level science teacher. That was a cool conversation, too.
Finally it's time for physics at noon. Desiree is in a good mood but after class, not so much. I buy her lunch and we talk for nearly an hour about life, school, and just cheer each other up. She thanks me repeatedly for the lunch (seriously it's no trouble at all, :D). The afternoon winds down with a little (much needed) shopping before I head to movie night (a blast as always). That was my Friday and it was awesome.
If you've read this far, wow. It's a lot. Thanks for reading. I really do love you guys; you're all so amazing. I thank God every day for you as friends and mentors, sharing and caring and giving. Life is good.
Saturday, February 6, 2010
School connects with life
Introduction
This may come a shock to some but you learn a lot of stuff in college that is usable in the "real world". I'm not just talking about the classes you take. Actually, (in this case) I kind of am. In classroom management this week, we've started talking about caring and safety in the classroom. If students don't think we care (about them and our job), why should they? If they don't feel safe, it distracts from learning. One of the aspects of this is being sensitive to students' concerns. It involves various things but I want to focus on what I have to present on Tuesday (in a poster): privacy in addressing things.
Lead-in
There are certain things you want to address privately in the classroom: grades, inappropriate behavior, and emotional/social issues. Students don't always want to stand out. Some would be embarrassed to be singled out for a particularly good or bad grade. Inappropriate behavior is a difficult one, too. You don't want to call them out in front of everyone but it can't be ignored. If a student is having an issue (break-up, troubled home life, etc.), it's good to talk to them, to help them understand what they feel and how to deal the situation (if they can).
The meat of it
So, this can apply to "real life". As brothers and sisters in Christ, we are accountable to each other. If a friend is going through some rough times, talk to them privately. Their problems don't need to be made public. If someone does something inappropriate or otherwise bothers you, that should be addressed privately as well. I would do this for you and I expect you to do it for me. In truth and love, we care for one another. We must heed His urges to help guide and correct one another. In doing so, we create unity, accountability, and caring. It's all for the advancement of His kingdom and deepening our relationships not only with Him but each other as well. That is how the body of Christ functions.
This may come a shock to some but you learn a lot of stuff in college that is usable in the "real world". I'm not just talking about the classes you take. Actually, (in this case) I kind of am. In classroom management this week, we've started talking about caring and safety in the classroom. If students don't think we care (about them and our job), why should they? If they don't feel safe, it distracts from learning. One of the aspects of this is being sensitive to students' concerns. It involves various things but I want to focus on what I have to present on Tuesday (in a poster): privacy in addressing things.
Lead-in
There are certain things you want to address privately in the classroom: grades, inappropriate behavior, and emotional/social issues. Students don't always want to stand out. Some would be embarrassed to be singled out for a particularly good or bad grade. Inappropriate behavior is a difficult one, too. You don't want to call them out in front of everyone but it can't be ignored. If a student is having an issue (break-up, troubled home life, etc.), it's good to talk to them, to help them understand what they feel and how to deal the situation (if they can).
The meat of it
So, this can apply to "real life". As brothers and sisters in Christ, we are accountable to each other. If a friend is going through some rough times, talk to them privately. Their problems don't need to be made public. If someone does something inappropriate or otherwise bothers you, that should be addressed privately as well. I would do this for you and I expect you to do it for me. In truth and love, we care for one another. We must heed His urges to help guide and correct one another. In doing so, we create unity, accountability, and caring. It's all for the advancement of His kingdom and deepening our relationships not only with Him but each other as well. That is how the body of Christ functions.
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Academics
I had signed up to be a TA (i.e. teaching assistant) for one lab a week (specifically an 8 am Organic I lab on Thursdays). I'll get paid minimum wage ($7.25/hr) for almost three hours a week. It's not much but it'll pay for gas and maybe even some groceries; a start at some independence from my parents. The paperwork all went through and the professor has agreed to the hire. My Internship I placement is all settled. I'll be going to a high school within five minutes of campus, visiting Tuesday mornings for a couple hours and Wednesday afternoons for one fifty-minute period. I'll be observing and eventually teach a single lesson before the class. At least it's a ninth-grace physical science class. I also have my field experience for the Cultural Perspectives class in order. I'll be volunteering at a local Boys and Girls Club for an or two each week.
Haha! So I have even less time now for myself but it's all right. I go to school, study, get educational experience, engage in Bible study and occasionally indulge in my hobbies. Since I had a test in University Physics 1 and Organic 2 I have no immediate homework to do. I know tomorrow will have work a-plenty. Until then, I shall enjoy the small respite.
Haha! So I have even less time now for myself but it's all right. I go to school, study, get educational experience, engage in Bible study and occasionally indulge in my hobbies. Since I had a test in University Physics 1 and Organic 2 I have no immediate homework to do. I know tomorrow will have work a-plenty. Until then, I shall enjoy the small respite.
Friday, August 21, 2009
Senses and Sensibilities
I am now acquainted with all my classes and teachers. I'm taking Cultural Perspectives: Family, School, and Community Partnerships (3 hours), University Physics I (calculus based, 4 hours), Secondary Science Methods and Material (4 hours), and Organic Chemistry II (4 hours). Fifteen hours is a fairly standard course load for college but these all require heavy time commitments for study. I'm convinced that I should cancel my World of Warcraft subscription as it would only be a major distraction. Internship I is only 1 credit hour, it's a co requisite for my Methods and Materials class. I have to go off campus and observe a classroom so many hours a week. I may also have to participate in the teaching. *eep!*
Cultural Perspectives I expect it to be the usual education class, perhaps a little more work but not excessively so. The teacher is a bit strange but sincere and clearly knows what he's doing. I'm required to have ten hours of "field experience" with a student (high school age in my case) of a different race, ethnic background, religion, or socioeconomic status (perhaps even gender?). I have to write about it as well.
Physics is clearly going to be time consuming if I want to pass, much less get a decent grade. No other teacher or professor has ever managed to make me hate them and their class so much in one session. Lab was a headache and he asked us to use the Macs there to make a chart and graph the results. We all were PC people. We wasted over ten minutes trying to find the spreadsheet program, input the data and figure out how to make a chart. I'm beginning to wonder if I shouldn't just get my chemistry degree and finish up my educational classes, just forgetting about being qualified to teach anything else. Then I remember, it's probably better if I do it all...
Methods and Materials will be the most challenging class, I'm sure. I have to come up with a mini-unit (with three lessons) as well as an interactive lab, write a paper on the Nature of Science and teach a lesson before a real class. It's exciting and scary all at once. Most people don't realize (or appreciate) how complex teaching really is. There's more to it than teaching in the classroom. Preparation, talking to parents, grading papers, cooperating with fellow teachers, keeping up with accreditation (professional development)...for many teachers they may work 45-60 hours a week (including classroom time). True, I get same vacations as my students but chances are that time may be taken up with jobs to supplement income or in training/professional development.
Finally, organic chemistry will be both a blast and headache (perhaps caused by the blast). I have the same professor as I did in organic 1 I took this spring. I'm sure it will be more challenging the organic 1, she equates chemistry with language (an apt description in my opinion). In organic 1, we learned words (functional groups and basic reactions). In the second course we learn sentences (a lot of mechanisms--how a reaction goes and how fast--and many more types of reactions).
So, no free time. Or is there? I am certain I will find it, hidden between project and homework or somewhere.
Cultural Perspectives I expect it to be the usual education class, perhaps a little more work but not excessively so. The teacher is a bit strange but sincere and clearly knows what he's doing. I'm required to have ten hours of "field experience" with a student (high school age in my case) of a different race, ethnic background, religion, or socioeconomic status (perhaps even gender?). I have to write about it as well.
Physics is clearly going to be time consuming if I want to pass, much less get a decent grade. No other teacher or professor has ever managed to make me hate them and their class so much in one session. Lab was a headache and he asked us to use the Macs there to make a chart and graph the results. We all were PC people. We wasted over ten minutes trying to find the spreadsheet program, input the data and figure out how to make a chart. I'm beginning to wonder if I shouldn't just get my chemistry degree and finish up my educational classes, just forgetting about being qualified to teach anything else. Then I remember, it's probably better if I do it all...
Methods and Materials will be the most challenging class, I'm sure. I have to come up with a mini-unit (with three lessons) as well as an interactive lab, write a paper on the Nature of Science and teach a lesson before a real class. It's exciting and scary all at once. Most people don't realize (or appreciate) how complex teaching really is. There's more to it than teaching in the classroom. Preparation, talking to parents, grading papers, cooperating with fellow teachers, keeping up with accreditation (professional development)...for many teachers they may work 45-60 hours a week (including classroom time). True, I get same vacations as my students but chances are that time may be taken up with jobs to supplement income or in training/professional development.
Finally, organic chemistry will be both a blast and headache (perhaps caused by the blast). I have the same professor as I did in organic 1 I took this spring. I'm sure it will be more challenging the organic 1, she equates chemistry with language (an apt description in my opinion). In organic 1, we learned words (functional groups and basic reactions). In the second course we learn sentences (a lot of mechanisms--how a reaction goes and how fast--and many more types of reactions).
So, no free time. Or is there? I am certain I will find it, hidden between project and homework or somewhere.
Saturday, May 2, 2009
Why the name, an introduction, and to new beginnings
Why "Of Rain and Orchids"
It's raining outside; of course. I love my new orchid. I love orchids. Roses are pretty and carnations are nice but orchids are truly things of beauty. Exotic in shape and color, I'm just drawn to them. Hence the title. I made a header for this blog but until the creator of the stock I used okays it, it can only be seen in my deviantART gallery (see right).
An Introduction
There are those of who you know my real name; to those of you who do not you may call me Michelle. My general online alias is Koneko Decaelum. Koneko is Japanese for kitten. Decaelum is Latin and means "of heaven". I am also on Facebook and deviantART (I highly encourage you check out my page and gallery).
I am a junior in college and this is my fourth year of school. I have an associate of arts from a junior college not too far from where I now attend. I was originally a psychology major. Upon transferring I changed it to Chemistry and Secondary Physical/Earth Science Education. I hope to teach high school chemistry.
If nothing else, I strive to live in truth and love. If you live by those two simple principles you may yet live a long and happy life without regrets. 1 John is my favorite book of the Bible and speaks to me and my nature.
To New Beginnings
Finals are coming; they're next week in fact. It's a great relief to think the semester about over but I'm a little sad, too. I've made some wonderful friends this semester and grown closer to the ones I've had. I've met two wonderful young men. One I dated and other I should have (I may discuss this later). I've learned many new things and others I have been reminded of. There are things I wonder if I'll ever learn. I will face the coming week with hope and determination. Then I pack and retreat home for a few weeks before I must return for summer class.
It's raining outside; of course. I love my new orchid. I love orchids. Roses are pretty and carnations are nice but orchids are truly things of beauty. Exotic in shape and color, I'm just drawn to them. Hence the title. I made a header for this blog but until the creator of the stock I used okays it, it can only be seen in my deviantART gallery (see right).
An Introduction
There are those of who you know my real name; to those of you who do not you may call me Michelle. My general online alias is Koneko Decaelum. Koneko is Japanese for kitten. Decaelum is Latin and means "of heaven". I am also on Facebook and deviantART (I highly encourage you check out my page and gallery).
I am a junior in college and this is my fourth year of school. I have an associate of arts from a junior college not too far from where I now attend. I was originally a psychology major. Upon transferring I changed it to Chemistry and Secondary Physical/Earth Science Education. I hope to teach high school chemistry.
If nothing else, I strive to live in truth and love. If you live by those two simple principles you may yet live a long and happy life without regrets. 1 John is my favorite book of the Bible and speaks to me and my nature.
To New Beginnings
Finals are coming; they're next week in fact. It's a great relief to think the semester about over but I'm a little sad, too. I've made some wonderful friends this semester and grown closer to the ones I've had. I've met two wonderful young men. One I dated and other I should have (I may discuss this later). I've learned many new things and others I have been reminded of. There are things I wonder if I'll ever learn. I will face the coming week with hope and determination. Then I pack and retreat home for a few weeks before I must return for summer class.
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