On Faith and Science

Introduction and Disclaimer
          I am a Christian and a scientist. Let me just say up front that this is my opinion and that like everyone else, I feel I am right. I could be wrong but I'd like to think this an enlightened view.

My Argument
     I believe there is no conflict between my faith [:heart:] and science [science!]. Those who disagree [I feel] don't really understand either.

[Let's start with the faith side.]
The Gospel According to Me

As a Christian, my faith hinges on what I feel is important:

1. I am saved by grace and my belief that Jesus [who is divine] came to this world and died on the cross for my sins.
   
2. God is love. God loves me and he pours his love into me. I can't help but share that love because it truly does overflow and there's no way to contain it.
   
3. My faith and love compel me to action. I ever seek to live in truth and love. The two greatest commandments (Luke 10:27) say to ['Love the Lord your God with all your heart and all your soul and all your mind and all your mind' and 'Love your neighbor as yourself'.]. I must care for others. Not just my friends or peers but also those I may not like, my enemies. There is no room for hate or apathy in my faith.
   
4. Everything else is details. You get into laws, explanations, clarifications. It’s like those first three were the Constitution of the U.S. and the rest are like laws and court rulings.

          When you find the simple principles of truth and love difficult to apply to a situation, you look at the rest for clarification. That isn’t to say that beyond the Gospel, the Bible is useless. It’s important in guiding how I live out my faith but my belief does not (and should not) hinge on any more or less than God’s love and Jesus’ sacrifice.

[So what about literal interpretation?]
          This is a tricky question that I cannot hope to answer. Bible scholars have studied this one for centuries. There are places in the Bible that are literal and there are places that are steeped in symbolism. Sometimes it’s both. For a lay-person like me, it’s not easy to determine.
          I believe the creation story shows us God’s power, even his nature. It’s a very poetic account of God calling things into being and creating order out of chaos. Is it literal? It’s hard to say. The word “day” in Hebrew can refer to daylight, a literal 24-hour day, or an unspecified period of time.
          This is where day-age creationists come in: those who believe that “day” in this sense is an unspecified period of time. Thus, “evening” would mean the end of an age, and “morning” would refer to the beginning of another. We can't know but it's an interesting view.

[Now let's look at science.]
Nature of science
          I wrote a ten page research paper on this, I know what I'm talking about.
          Science is reliable yet tentative. Everything we know is tested repeatedly. We come up with the best explanation we can given the evidence (and there's a TON of it). That explanation is and will continue to be accepted until new evidence challenges it. At that time, the theory will be modified or completely thrown out for a new one.
          Theories: In the vernacular, they are little more than conjecture or speculation, such as "I kinda think it might be like this". In science, the term theory carries vastly more weight. It is an explanation greatly supported by evidence gained and repeatedly confirmed through observation and experimentation.
          Science requires consensus; there will be no consensus without evidence. For instance, a person can publish a paper saying they've perfected cold fusion. The media will have a hey-day over it but the scientific community will remain skeptical until that person's results are confirmed by other scientists following the same procedure under the same conditions and getting results consistent with the first person's results. The peer-review process is important. Discussion is important. This is part of why it takes time for new theories to be accepted. Evidence must be gathered and confirmed. The theory has to make sense.
          So, people who say they don't believe evolution are extremely misguided at best. Evolution is not a faith to be accepted or believed in, it just is. People don't question (as often or openly) atomic theory or cell theory. Evolution or the big bang shouldn't be any different. These theories are the best explanations given the evidence.

[What about creationism?]
It's bad science.
          Literal 24-hr/6-day creationism is simply not supported by the evidence. Does this mean I believe God had no hand in the creation of the universe as we know it? Of course not, I believe he did it.
          Science, for me, is discovering how. I and my Christian friends (who are also scientists) get this. When you learn about the complexity of the human body alone, it's staggering. It's not mere chance it turned out the way it did but the result of a beautiful, intricate process resulting in what we see today.

[Um, okay?]
Let's try a metaphor
          I am writing a story [that I won't go into much detail now]. In that story has [for lack of a better explanation], a god. That "god" has this tile array [much like dominoes standing up] that he has set in place. Every tile in that array represents an action and/or reaction. The first tile was pushed and everything was set in motion.
          That's how I see it. God’s hand is in every one of those actions and reactions. His plan is complex array: sequence of events, actions and reactions all leading to this moment which is, in turn, an event leading to something else further down the line.

[So, now what?]
In conclusion
          We weren't there in the beginning. We can't know for sure unless we were. Again, scientific theories say one thing. Right know that's what we know and what we're sticking to until another, better explanation comes along.
          My faith shouldn't be shaken by something as trivial as creation versus evolution or the big bang theory. If it is, then I've lose sight of what is important. What's important is that I believe in something greater than me, something good and it inspires me to be the best person I can be...and there are no laws against that.

The home stretch, in a round-a-bout way

Quiet Spring Break
          Spring break comes to end and classes begin again on Monday. My friends and peers are slowly returning. I'm sitting here wondering if my week was wasted. Monday I saw a movie but only after wasting about 45 minutes on the phone (toll free doesn't apply to my go-phone, over $4 wasted) with some guy in India trying to get recovery discs for my laptop. Avatar (again) because a friend hadn't seen it yet; it was okay. Tuesday I hung out with David. We looked at furniture, I picked up my glasses and went to our favorite hibachi grill with Katie and her family. Her birthday is next week. I should probably get her something. *shrug* Wednesday I dropped of the recovery discs (I'm glad they arrived quickly) and was able to pick up my laptop that afternoon (ha! after two weeks they actually do something quickly). Thursday my plans fell through. Friday they fell through again (same person but it wasn't anyone's fault). I made up a tentative fall schedule but it was only eleven credit hours. I planned out an alternate schedule that gets me at thirteen hours. I'll talk more about those in a bit. At least I took care of a friend last night, he was having car trouble. It was nice to be useful after what feels like a rather unproductive week.

About college and learning
          This fall will be the start of my fourth year at UCA, sixth in college total. I came to UCA with an associate of art degree that was basically everything I did in high school in half the time but paid money for it. I hardly remember any of it. UCA has been a huge learning experience, not just academically. I really struggled to learn how to study and to find the motivation to study but I think I'm finally getting a grip on it. Socially, I've been learning a lot the things most people learned in high school. Moving to Arkansas was a good thing but somewhere along the way I stalled out. I blame the depression. I'm not very well socialized to begin with (my rather introverted nature makes it difficult) but such a sickness of the mind stunted my social and emotional development. So between sixteen and nineteen I learned and grew very little.
          I look back on those high school (especially first two college) years with some mixed feelings. I see a lot that was wrong in how I thought and felt about things but I've gained some wisdom in reflecting on those years. Romantically speaking, I didn't date anyone. Sure, there were a couple guys in junior high (back in Oklahoma) that I called boyfriends (not at the same time) and the feelings were mutual but that was it. I was attracted to a few people in Arkansas but I didn't have any relationships. There was internal drama over Alex (it was horrible) and, before that, even a little over this guy named Daniel (I see some of how he is now and I wonder how I ever could have been attracted to him). I found what I now call my "love diary". It has a couple entries on our road trip to NYC after I graduated high school. The rest are all about the guys of interest in my life. It's interesting to see I only wrote about five guys and how the entries reflect on my state of mind.
          Most were about Alex. It was like reading from the diary of a junior high girl and her unhealthy obsession with him. I wrote comments in the margins, half humorous, mostly insightful. It was good to relive and paint over those memories with a more objective and positive light. The next few were about a friend here at UCA. After him was a single entry about choosing between Matt and Derek. I wrote a follow up about it (with some reflecting) before adding another entry about one of my brothers in Christ and concluding now is the not the time for that kind of love.
          Time changes things so quickly. A little over a year ago, I'd decided I was ready to love because I no longer felt I needed a boyfriend. I'm not as hopeless broken as i once was. My view has altered some since then. I've come to the conclusion that while I've been open to the possibility of a relationship, I'm not ready for one. That doesn't bother me. I have issues to work through and school is more important. I'm deeply satisfied with my friendships (most of which are with men--yes you're men now, not boys). It'd be unfair to me and him; trying to balance our involvement in each others' lives, working through my personal problems and school all at once.
          I spend a lot of time analyzing myself: my thoughts, actions, motivations...my nature. It's been amazing to learn about myself. I know how I work and I'm learning more all the time. I refuse to regret my past and insist on learning from it. I'm rambling now. Moving on!

Scheduling Challenges
          So I'm planning out my classes for the fall and updating my degree plan. Having done all my gen eds makes padding my classes difficult, I have to pad with time rather than easy courses. I've finally learned that with my double major I shouldn't try for the standard fifteen credit hours but something closer to the twelve hour minimum to be full time. This is due to the fact that my classes actually entail more time than I'm given credit for (not that other majors aren't time-intensive). My science classes all have labs (with few exceptions) and my education classes always involve field work (usually observation). Factor in the time I need to study and the fact that I want to TA for a few labs, suddenly fifteen hours is a bit excessive and twelve is perfectly reasonable. I mentioned earlier I'd made up a couple tentative schedules, one with eleven credit hours and another with thirteen. So what do you think?

'Cause I'm tired of sleeping in

          Have you had one those moments where something you've known all along suddenly sinks in and you get it? I had that last night. I've been struggling with procrastination for so long now that I've become jaded to the possibility I'll ever overcome it. I'd start each semester with enthusiasm. (Yeah! This time I'm going to stay on top of it and do well.) Usually about a month in I've lost it and fall into a rather depressive and anxious apathy. It's not pretty.
          There's a progression that can be traced to the procrastination. I started by finishing a homework assignment due Friday on the Monday before it was due. I felt good. I was making notes from powerpoints online in preparation for class. I was reading the texts. It was awesome. I started to get comfortable. I figure, "I can do it later". Very quickly, I find myself waiting until the night before an assignment is due (sometimes even in the hours before the class). In many cases, I don't even bother to do the assignment or study. Come test day, I go in with no real idea of what I need to know. I earn a bad grade and I start to wonder if there's any point in trying to do better for the next test. Midterm rolls around, I'm stressed, depressed and resigning to failure. It's a quick drop from there to the actual outcome (failure).
          Doing this every semester since....freshman year (oh man) takes its toll. I've always had trouble with it. When faced with something I don't want to do or deal with, I run away. I'm a daydreamer so it's easy to do that. Some of my most popular works on deviantART are the result of me avoiding study. I've logged over 45 days in World of Warcraft as a result of it. I follow 16 webcomics (and counting), 24 people on twitter (and counting), subscribe to 28 channels (and counting) on youtube, watch 260+ deviants and clubs (and counting, see the pattern?), I read Dear ---- everyday, I have bookmarks to diverting sites including the Cheezburger network the site index. More are added on a regular basis. These all aren't bad in and of themselves but I only know about them because I've sought them out in avoidance of productive work. I check my social networks daily (often several times a day) and it's really pathetic. I could spend an entire day just keeping up to date with all of them. So what changed last night?
          Christ Church Conway didn't do it's "off-week" get together. The "on" weeks, we meet with Patch and are going through Galatians. The off weeks we wanted to get together to pray, care for each other, and whatever else God inspires us to do. Well, Drew was gone at work and only a couple people showed up. So, I came back to the apartment. For some strange reason I came in, sat down, put up my Movie Music Pandora station and full screen SitBack on deviantART (set to spring-related deviations). This is my study combo. It's mostly instrumental music with nice images on the screen (the rest is black so it blocks everything else out). It keeps me focused a lot better. Anyway, I started on my physics homework and I was struck at how easy it was. I was relaxed doing it. BAM!. Why have I putting myself through all this misery over an easy and almost therapeutic assignment?
          It's carried over to this morning. I got up and worked a little on an assignment that's due Tuesday. After this blog, I'm going to finish my lab write-up for Organic and do next week's pre-lab assignment. Sunday afternoon I'm getting with a friend to figure out how to write our physics lab report. And it goes on. I mean, wow! That moment was quite a while in the making. There's more to it. As I've said, I've known about this problem for a while and exactly how to fix it. Get it done early! You have more time to do the fun stuff and suddenly those time wasters are much less interesting. So what are the other pieces? Hm.
          I was very lucky to get away with C's for the first physics and organic chemistry tests. I like to go back and find the correct answers to the questions I got wrong. I was able to get most of the ones reworked to the right answer but there were a couple I was unsure of. I finally got to meet with my organic professor Tuesday afternoon to ask him. During the course of the conversation, he said a of stuff I already knew. That conversation was another push in the right direction because I studied some for the organic quiz on Thursday. As Caitlin said to me, "Sometimes you just need to hear it from someone else." Wednesday I didn't go to chemistry tutoring but I stayed in and studied for a few hours more for Thursday's quiz in organic (I think I did pretty well on it, by the way).
          Well, the last pieces are ready to fall into place. My mp3 player (which I accidentally dropped into water a week or so ago) seemed to finally be working properly again yesterday. I'd had various songs stuck in my head but I wanted to hear Gravity (originally by Chris Martin of Coldplay, first recorded by Embrace). Now, my mp3 player is set to shuffle unless I'm listening to certain playlists (usually the writing ones). The next three songs after Gravity were what I needed to hear: "Let It All Come Out" by Newsboys (lyrics), "Day by Day" by dcTalk (lyrics), and finally "Sleeping in" by Nevertheless (see below). Crazy, huh?

          And so it all came together into that one simple truth finally sinking in: get it done early.

"Sleeping in" by Nevertheless

I've been sleeping in for days,
'Cause when I am awake,
I will have to face my life.
And I'm hoping it's a phase.
The walls that I create
Can only make it seem alright.
And I get carried away like I'm the only one
Who's ever felt the way that I do,
But I can hear you say, "You're not the only one.
'Cause everybody hopes to get through."

And it's got me sleeping in.
Every day God, it's the same thing.
Yeah, you caught me sleeping in.
I'm still hiding; I'm still waiting.
I need you here with me to face the world outside
'Cause I'm tired of sleeping in.

I've been waking up with fear,
'Cause all that I can hear
The ringing of alarms downtown.
It's been going on for years,
And you have made it clear
That I am not alone in this crowd.
And I get carried away like I'm the only one
Who's ever felt the way that I do,
But I can hear you say, "You're not the only one.
'Cause everybody hopes to get through."

And it's got me sleeping in.
Every day God, it's the same thing.
Yeah, you caught me sleeping in.
I'm still hiding; I'm still waiting.
I need you here with me to face the world outside
'Cause I'm tired of sleeping in.

Open up my eyes.
I'm tired of sleeping in
In a world that's dying to wake up.
And it's got me sleeping in.
Yeah, It's got me sleeping in.

And it's got me sleeping in.
Every day God, it's the same thing.
Yeah, you caught me sleeping in.
I'm still hiding; I'm still waiting.
I need you here with me to face the world outside
'Cause I'm tired of sleeping in.

'Cause I'm tired of sleeping in.
'Cause I'm tired of sleeping in.
Yeah I'm done with sleeping in.

School connects with life

Introduction
          This may come a shock to some but you learn a lot of stuff in college that is usable in the "real world". I'm not just talking about the classes you take. Actually, (in this case) I kind of am. In classroom management this week, we've started talking about caring and safety in the classroom. If students don't think we care (about them and our job), why should they? If they don't feel safe, it distracts from learning. One of the aspects of this is being sensitive to students' concerns. It involves various things but I want to focus on what I have to present on Tuesday (in a poster): privacy in addressing things.
Lead-in
          There are certain things you want to address privately in the classroom: grades, inappropriate behavior, and emotional/social issues. Students don't always want to stand out. Some would be embarrassed to be singled out for a particularly good or bad grade. Inappropriate behavior is a difficult one, too. You don't want to call them out in front of everyone but it can't be ignored. If a student is having an issue (break-up, troubled home life, etc.), it's good to talk to them, to help them understand what they feel and how to deal the situation (if they can).
The meat of it
          So, this can apply to "real life". As brothers and sisters in Christ, we are accountable to each other. If a friend is going through some rough times, talk to them privately. Their problems don't need to be made public. If someone does something inappropriate or otherwise bothers you, that should be addressed privately as well. I would do this for you and I expect you to do it for me. In truth and love, we care for one another. We must heed His urges to help guide and correct one another. In doing so, we create unity, accountability, and caring. It's all for the advancement of His kingdom and deepening our relationships not only with Him but each other as well. That is how the body of Christ functions.

Impressions

[Have you ever been going about your business and all of a sudden there's this explosion and you're left dazed, wondering what happened? It was like that. After an earthquake, it's best to get away from the rubble and gas leaks before an aftershock strikes.] Anyway, I have something more interesting to talk about anyway, school!
          So the first couple of days were great. I spend Wednesday writing notes for organic from the powerpoint the instructor. Oh thank God for internet and blackboard! Thursday was the start of classes. I got up early and met with a professor before class to talk about my job (going to be a TA for a couple of his labs this semester). The meeting was only about 10 minutes so I was half an hour early for my first class of the day (organic). I was pleased to learn there are about four people in that class I know. I immediately noticed a problem though, sitting next to one of my buddies has made me more talkative (it's related to the class but still not needed). I don't want to be a disruption in the class, otherwise I'll get on the instructor's bad side (do not want!). I actually like this instructor, he's energetic and clearly loves what he's doing. He checks often for understanding and as a result (at least in my opinion) his class moves along faster than the others. We usually end up a chapter ahead of them.
          My next class was (I want to say learning and development) classroom management. This is another good instructor. He taught junior high english for a few years. I had learning and development with him last spring and it was a great class. This will be 4000 (senior) level course but I'm not too worried about it. He doesn't make it too hard to make a B or even an A but we still learn a lot and are challenged throughout the course.
          There was an amusing moment in that class. We did an exercise where we had to walk around the room and talk at the same time; choosing three things to say about ourselves from a short, fun questionnaire we were given. The guy who went before me decided to go with the "I think ______ is overrated." line as of his three things. He chose science. I was going to say "I have never been [skydiving] but want to some day." but a few others had chosen that as well. Instead I went with the subject area and grade level(s): chemistry, 11th-12th grades because [blah blah blah]. We all had a good laugh. I really need to talk to that guy and help set him straight on his science literacy. Scientists are not full of themselves, thinking they know it all. We're not like that. Granted, we know more than you (lol) but we're fully aware that there's so much more to discover and that what we think we know and understand could be turned on its head with the next publication.
          Moving on: university physics I (again). This time is a different instructor. I actually had him for Descriptive Astronomy last year. I really liked that class; I learned a lot about celestial objects and what we know about our universe. It was easy, but then again it only required algebra, not calculus. His style is a bit different from the instructor I had last semester but I think I like it. The class is small, we only have 1 lab and about 30 people. He didn't use a powerpoint presentation for the first session but he didn't really need one. Now lab reports are a bit different, he doesn't want them written quite the same way as we did with the other professor. It's simpler but seems to convey just as much information. I like that. I'm just trying to figure out what I'm saying...
          The only class I haven't been to yet is Organic Spectroscopy. It's taught by the same professor whose labs I'm working.
          Okay, well I've avoided productive work long enough. Need to catch up on being ahead. If I finish early enough, I might play some World of Warcraft. :P

Apropos of Coldplay, school, and life in general

Coldplay?
          Yes. At Grace's party, another friend of hers sang/played on the guitar the song "See You Soon". Ever since, my obsession for their music has renewed. I can't remember if I'd said it before but their music truly resonates with me and how I think with their moods, melodies and lyrics. It will be a truly sad day for me when they no longer produce music. i don't even want to think about it...!

School
          Classes start Thursday. I'm excited and a bit anxious. I'm taking only 13 hours but it's three science classes (physics 1: 1000 level course, organic chemistry 2 and organic spectroscopy: 3000) and an education course (4000 level course!). I'm also going to be a TA for a couple physiological chemistry labs (taught by the same instructor as my organic spec class). Throw in field experience for my education class, attempting to keep some social contact, be creative (I must return to writing, journal coding&design, etc!), and most importantly focus on God and grow in faith...that's a lot!
          It's okay, though (I guess). When I'm busy, I have purpose. Last semester, I was too busy and basically...this needs a metaphor. (I'm a metaphorically thinking kind of girl, ya know?) Juggling. Yes, that fits. 13 hours is just right, I can handle juggling that course load and do what I love/need to do. Last semester I was at 16 and in my attempt to juggle everything, most of the balls were dropped (or at least the more expensive ones, tuition isn't cheap)so I actually got little-to-nothing done. Too little (like staying home and playing WoW all day), and it gets boring. No challenge! I lose focus, suffer from apathy and melancholy sets in. Yes, this will do nicely.

Life in general.
          Dear Grace is leaving us for a semester abroad. Keep her in your prayers. I'll post a prayer now, actually.

          Abba, You are so awesome. Your love is more than we can ever know or even hold. We know you are with us. We know You'll take care of her. Let her be a light to those she meets and to grow more in You. Keep her safe. Help her to see more of the good in the world and those in it.
          For those that will miss her, may we also grow in You and be a blessing to those around us. Help us to focus on what matters and not stress over everything. You've got it under control. May we learn more about our respective disciplines, Your Word, and You. May we grow closer together; caring, loving, supporting, exhorting, and teaching each other.
          We thank You so much for Your love and sacrifice. In Your son's name, Amen.

Think and Remember

          So much has happened since my last post. I've started several posts but not posted any of them. I'll recount the events of the past month or so as briefly as possible but I doubt this will be a short post.
          First, there was the Halloween party at Drew's place. It was a blast. We all headed down to this hometown. Upon arrival we were once again whisked away to tree-shaded roads and open fields in the darkness. There was a hay ride and we were to scare the children and their parents as best we could. I spent two hours in a deep stand with Caitlin, talking about stuff and trying to find a scary ring-tone to use when the hay ride came by. I stayed the night and in the morning we went to church there in town.
          On the ride back, I decided to take part in NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month). It's a challenge where one must write 50,000 words in 30 days (in this case, November). I chose to work on the prequel in my Ka'ne-Yuri series, Prelude, for NaNoWriMo. I've been wanting to lay down the background for quite a while now (and not just saying, "This happened"), so that's what I did. You can check out the postings I have so far in the NaNoWriMo 2009 folder of my deviantART gallery.
          I was okay for the first week but the third week really threw me. I was swamped with school. In the final days I boosted the word count from 25,806 to 46,134. I didn't quite make it to 50k to win but I wrote about 10,400 words in a single day. I came back after my 1pm class and sat from 2pm to nearly 1am writing. I got up maybe twice, once to eat and another for the restroom. It came out to about 1,000 words an hour. I normally write 1-2k in 3-4 hours, so this was huge. It was emotional for me write so much in a single go. I tend to feel characters' emotions when writing or even reading and there was a lot of bad stuff going on in the part I wrote. Check out my NaNoWriMo profile.
          I taught my first actual lesson before a real 9th grade physical science class. I did better than I thought but I need to slow down and work on my classroom management skills. That's okay because I'm taking it in the spring (WIN!).
          There was a Pre-Thanksgiving dinner the Sunday before Thanksgiving. It was a rather stressful evening but the food was amazing. I decided it was a good taste of what actual Thanksgivings are like for people.
          Tuesday our parents came up and visited us. They made it early enough to visit Christ Church's Tuesday night meetings. They understand now why I am willing to drive 20 minutes out of town to church. It's that good of a family.
          Wednesday my brother, our parents and I saw Blind Side, a movie about an African-American young man who gets taken in by an affluent white family and becomes a good football player. After the movie, we went to our usual Japanese Hibachi grill and sushi bar. It was nice to be with the family again. I had another dinner with Katie's family (her mom, her aunt and long time boyfriend) my brother and our parents were there, too. It was a nice afternoon, eating and watching TV, relaxing. My parents went back home Friday and I was alone for a few days. It was then I started again on the writing for NaNoWriMo.
          Did I mention I dropped University Physics I? Yeah, I'm retaking it in the spring. I'm also failing organic chemistry II but it doesn't bother me for some reason. Being a senior has its perks when it comes to signing up for classes. We get to sign up first. After talking with my adviser I signed up for: University Physics I, Organic Chemistry II (with Tarkka, I loved his class the first time I took organic I, he's entertaining but also a good teacher :P), Organic Spectroscopy, and Classroom Management with Mr. Ward (I loved his Learning and Development class in the spring).
          You'd think that I should be bothered by repeating two classes from this semester in the spring but I'm fine. I've noticed that I was not motivated to study at all for organic; strange, right? I came to the realization that it's okay because I'll be exactly where I need to be. God has really been working in my life these past several months and I came to realization only in the past couple of days.
          I am so glad Caitlin has started coming to Christ Church with us, her change and growth over the past couple of weeks is amazing and I thank God for that. I've seen God at work all semester and it just blows me away to think of what happened. I've learned to trust in Him so much more now. I'm also talking with him very regularly. I pray and talk to Him throughout the day and it has been a blessing. Christ Church has been a huge part of my life and I love my brothers and sisters so much, it's impossible to contain.
          Thursday we had our last Christ Church Conway of the semester. We read through Ephesians in one go and talked about the letter. It was very encouraging. A few of us hung out for a few hours and then we all went to IHOP at midnight to celebrate the end of the semester with an extended group of friends. It was a blast. Except for the terrifying feeling that I later determined was caused by food. Neurological reactions to food are bad. I was freaking out and feeling really uncomfortable. It happened again last night. The irrational fear could not be rationalized away and clearly the food was causing extreme anxiety. If it happens again tonight, I'll know what it is and deal accordingly.
          My dear friends; brothers and sisters, I love you and wish all the best for you. Oh wait, our dearest Grace will be leaving for a semester abroad in France. We love you and will miss you sorely. Go forth and be awesome in France. We'll hold together just fine, sister. Remember, God's got your back (and mine and ours :D) and if you just talk to Him, you'll know. Love, hope, grace, and peace to you until we meet again.

-M.B.