Brooding Walls
          Today was not a bad day by any means but it wasn't great either. I feel a bit melancholy. I'm inclined to blame biology: poor sleep habits and other fun stuff probably wrecking into my peace. Well, maybe it's more than biology...We were talking in church tonight about spiritual warfare (reading Corinthians 10:3-6) and one thing that came up was tearing down walls. We need to be open with each other and share our struggles so that we can build each other up and strengthen the Body of Christ (not continue to wallow in our dysfunctionality). We talked about ways to tear the walls down and prevent them from building up in the first place.
          All this didn't really sink in until the ride home when I'd realized a few walls of my own had gone up. Every day I didn't read my Bible, didn't talk meaningfully with God and allow myself to be totally led by the spirit was another brick on that wall. The mortar is apathy and the bricks that should be used to build the Kingdom are instead being added to the wall. I can kind of tell when I'm allowing my spiritual muscles to atrophy: I waste my time more, my head gets full of useless junk that muddles my thoughts and feelings, things just don't seem in line and my resilience for life's ups and downs (even the minor ones) just goes to pot. I hate it. I feel unwell (on so many levels), a little (a lot) dirty and rather unhappy (if not downright blue).
          This is the part where many Christians stumble and simply give up. That's not how it goes. If you find yourself tripping up, check where you're going, reorient towards Him and get moving again. It's that simple. Hey, I didn't say it was easy. So now that I've realized I'm stumbling on rocks (because, hey, I'm off the trail) I'm going to focus on the goal and get back on track. Everything else will fall back into place, or (at least) things that aren't falling perfectly in place won't seem like that big a deal.

Learning is awesome
          So, about school: I'm...not hating it. I'd be enjoying it more if I wasn't on a spiritual detour. Physics isn't so bad and Biochem is a lot of fun with Dr. Kelley. I've lately been of the opinion that scientists are bit a strange; chemists are crazy but biochemists are on another level. Dr. Kelley is proof this. It's entertaining and she's actually a pretty good teacher. She states often that she wants us to think on our feet. Most of my classmates are pre-med, pre-pharm, pre-something-really-hard-and-maybe-life-saving so she wants to be able to trust these people with such important things. I've decided to pay attention to how she teaches that. I'd like to pass that on to my students (just because I'm not taking an education class doesn't mean I'm not thinking about it).
          First labs are picking up this week (finally!). Monday's organic 2 lab was...interesting. Everyone was lost and even though I'd worked on this reaction for several weeks last semester it had been at least two months so I was a bit unsure when answering questions. A few of the students weren't so happy about how their reactions were going but I assured them it was all right. We make mistakes, figure out what went wrong and move on. Another simple-but-not-easy thing to do. I was very open about sharing my mishaps in lab with the students to lessen their tension and dismay when it seemed things weren't going quite right.
          On a tangent, I've realized I don't really care about being wrong anymore. This is mainly in the context of learning: answering questions in class and working on assignments, etc. When I get it wrong, that's okay! It's an opportunity to learn. Yes, indeed. Trust me, when you get it wrong and then find your way to what is correct, you've learned it better than simply getting it right the first time. So be bold and be wrong! Then learn so you'll be more awesome than you were before. Praise God! I get excited just thinking about it. lmao.

          Well, this has been cathartic. If you've read this far, I'm impressed. Thank you. I love you. Marry me. Well...don't set a date.
Bye! [enthusiastic wave]

Mishal's chewy chocolate chip cookies

          I worked from the original Toll House recipe and Alton Brown's chewy alteration to come up with this recipe. I was going for a more tender, chewy cookie. I switched out a small amount of the vanilla extract for rum extract because I like to put it in all my deserts (lol). For some reason, rum extract tastes more like rum than adding real rum to recipes (lol, again). Not to mention it's a dry county and I don't drink. You can do all vanilla or add your own twist (mint or orange are good alternatives).
          I baked the half-recipe this morning (made about 16 cookies) but I doubled it here for more goodness. Let me know how yours turn out. :)

Ingredients

• 2 ¼ cups all-purpose flour
  
• ½ teaspoon salt
  
• 1 teaspoon baking soda
  
• ¼ cup granulated sugar
  
• 1 ¼ cup packed brown sugar
  
• 2 sticks (about 1 cup) butter, sliced into chunks and softened
  
• 1 ½ teaspoon vanilla extract
  
• ½ teaspoon rum extract
  
• ¼ cup (approx.) milk [probably won’t use it all]
  
• 2 eggs
  
• 2 cup semi-sweet chocolate chip morsels

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 350 °F.
   
2. In a small bowl sift together the flour, salt and baking soda.
   
3. In a large bowl, mash granulated sugar, brown sugar and butter together with a fork until slightly mixed. [Adding milk by teaspoonfuls, if needed] Beat sugar-butter mixture on low speed until creamy.
   
4. Add eggs one at a time, beat well after each addition. Add flavor extracts.
   
5. Add flour mixture in 3-4 parts. You may need to add a few teaspoons of milk to maintain consistency.
   
6. Stir in chocolate chips.
   
7. Drop cookie dough by large teaspoonfuls onto an ungreased baking sheet (or you can cover the sheet in parchment paper) about 1 ½ to 2 inches apart. Bake for about ten minutes or until brown on the edges. Let cool for 2-5 minutes before transferring to a wire rack to cool completely. Should yield about 2 ½ dozen cookies (depending on size).

Oh, a year has passed?

          Well, it's a new year. It honestly feels like the last one had started three weeks ago. There was a lot of learning for me this year, not only in school but life in general (college tends to do that). I feel a bit out of touch, not sure why. Doesn't really matter, I guess.
          My laptop is in its last days. A sickly creature from the start...after 17 months, it's time has come. My brother will build me a new computer soon. It'll be an awesome desktop and cost will probably be half that of a decent laptop; considering mobility isn't really important and I can work in the library with a flash drive if I need to, a home-built desktop is totally cool with me. He plans to order the parts when he gets back from New Orleans for the Sugar Bowl. (He plays in the Razorback band.) Show your support for Arkansas with my Hogwild deviantART journal skin. :)

          Anyway, the laptop's graphics card is all but burned out, we suspect. As such, I can't play World of Warcraft. Instead of wasting my time playing that game (or getting frustrated in my attempt to play), I figure I'll get into my creative interests once more and hope that this old-before-its-time laptop can handle photoshop. So keep an eye out for a new journal skin or so. I think I'll get back to the 100 themes challenge. I've only done four so far but I have ideas for a few more. Feel free to suggest a theme or give a tip on how to go about one of the 96 themes left.
          Well, here's to a better year than the last.
-Mishal