Mint Chocolate Cupcakes: Easiest dessert you'll ever love

          I don't remember when I first made these but I love them because they're so easy to put together and everyone can't get enough! You can easily substitute the Andes for any other candy you think would be suitable, I tried chopped caramel-filled chocolate bars and they were just as popular. I always add a package of instant pudding mix to my cake recipes for moisture and richness. Don't bother with frosting for these cupcakes, they're rich enough as it is and stand well enough on their own.

Ingredients

• 1 package of Devil's Food chocolate cake mix
• 1 package of french vanilla instant pudding mix
• 1 package of chopped Andes mints

Directions

1. Heat oven as directed for cake mix.
2. Add the chocolate cake mix, the pudding mix and whatever else the cake mix requires (usually eggs, water and oil) to a large bowl.
3. Mix/beat as directed.
4. Stir in Andes.
5. Transfer to cupcake pan lined with cupcake liners.
6. Bake as directed.

          Yeah, it's that easy. I probably made it more complicated than it actually is, lol. Don't worry if the cupcakes aren't all lovely and round on top when baked. Their humble appearance adds to them somehow. When you're checking for done-ness, remember the Andes are melted. :)

Thoughts and Thanksgiving

          Life is really odd sometimes. You go along, trying to mind your own business, when something blows up in your face and you're left in the fallout wondering what just happened. This has occurred more times in my life than I care to remember. As a result of one such incident I can't be with my family for Thanksgiving this year. I'm not terribly upset for myself but I am disappointed in the poor communication displayed by some (not that I'm a great model for it myself). I am grateful for the invites extended to me in the past couple of weeks since then. I'm starting to think I'll just stay in and treasure the time alone with God.
          I've come to terms with solitude in the past few months. It's neither empty nor lonely. It seems a lost art among introverts. It's something that has to be learned given our modern Western culture. Our lives are so full of stuff and very little substance. This season it's especially evident. BUY THIS NOW! OR THE WORLD ENDS! AND YOU'RE NOTHING! BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T BUY! THIS! NOW! Don't lie to me, that's exactly the quiet desperation hidden behind every ad.
          People live for the next shiny new thing because it's shiny and new (or gritty but diamond-dusted grit sells pretty well, too). We're surrounded by people looking for meaning and identity. They buy into the lie that "stuff makes you" and end up feeling empty. It's a hunger never satisfied and a dream never realized. This doesn't just apply to what you can buy in a store, catalog or website. I've seen my fair share of people seeking relationships with the same urgency. They may not even realize it but it's there. They all hide behind their masks, surrounded by stuff, devouring anything and everything to fill the void. It breaks my heart, especially when they look to me for some kind of answer or relief. It's not in me.
          I digress (or do I?). For those of you going home for the holiday, I've a charge and a prayer for you. Encourage, exhort and edify fellow believers and be a light to those who are not. It's easy for old resentments to surface and allow unspoken (or very vocal) frictions to grate against your patience. Don't let that happen. Be on your guard. Turn the other cheek and bear with one another in love because much of what you fight over is not important. Really.
          I don't know if I mentioned in an earlier post (I may have in a facebook status or tweet) but I've wanted to write letters to many of those whom I love and have impacted me in a positive way. Why should we wait until someone dies to say good things about them? I firmly believe that we should express our love and gratitude to others while we and they are alive. I wrote to a couple of people last year. I may or may not write more to others this year. I really need to keep a notebook to write down what exactly I'd say when I think of a good sentence or paragraph to include.
          This probably stems from my prime love language being a mix of quality time [I just want to be with you.] and (especially) words of affirmation [tell me something good]. Forget random junk that you may or may not want or need. Let me write you even a small portion of my love for you. I know if I were to receive such a written note it would speak more loudly than any gift, act of service or hug could ever shout.

'Cause I'm fallin', I'm fallin for you...

Song of the moment: Falling For You by Seabird

          It's is certainly now fall in the great state of Arkansas. I don't like the cold; I much prefer the heat. When you can no longer take off anymore layers you go inside, break out the water in the form of swimming or water war. Everything is green, you're not in school, you can eat neon colored frozen sugar water and watermelon and there's cookouts.
          Fall? Well, it is easier to dress modestly. I don't understand the girls that can be half-naked in such freezing weather. Even in the summer, though, the sun is rather unkind to that which I prefer to keep under wraps. I digress, more reasons to love the cooler weather: I can wear leggings with skirts and shorts! I get to wear fuzzy boots. I love my fuzzy boots. I can play with layers in my clothing....it's awesome. What else? Egg nog is now in season. Some of you may shudder at the viscosity and calories but I like it. The colors are just as vibrant as in the spring and the promise of holidays with family and friends beckon.
          So what have I been up to? A lot and not very much all once. I've always seen myself as a bundle of seeming contradictions but we can talk about that another time. I dropped physics 2. Of all my priorities, it always came up last and there was no place I was willing to budge to make time to study for it. I think attending church here in Conway, the Spanish and Wednesday services in Maumelle, the Truth Project and Baptist Collegiate Ministry (BCM) were totally worth dropping physics for. Go ahead and question my priorities. I have no regrets. I've been focusing on maturing in my faith and church 5 times a week certainly isn't hurting. Yet...I've been wanting something more lately. All this learning is wonderful but what good is it if I don't do anything with it? Sure, I'm doing some things, even if it's just loving on fellow believers and trying to be light to those around me but I need to do more. I feel like a car with a tank almost full, now I just need to be driven somewhere...maybe lots of places!
          So what am I going to do? I don't even know. I'm praying about going on a mission trip over spring break with the BCM. Yesterday I learned about Super Summer Arkansas and got really excited. Maybe I can do that? I've wanted to work at a summer camp for a while now (science or church would be fine with me). One of the recruiters, Dustin Sams, talked a little about works born of faith and it resonated with my desire go out and do things. A camp for junior and senior high students seems ideal considering I'll be qualified to teach 7th-12th when I finally graduate. It would force me to be more outgoing. I've been getting better about being more outgoing but this would take me out of my comfort zone and I'd sink or swim. It wouldn't be simply being outgoing either. I honestly believe it could help with my faith in general to become more of a leader and I don't even know what kind of awesomeness.
          So, I filled out an interview application and was interviewed. If I wasn't so nervous I would have thought to ask more questions about what exactly I'd be doing as either administrative staff or possibly a small group leader. I suppose I'll find out if (and hopefully when) I get accepted and go to camp. That's the thing though, I feel a bit apprehensive about all this. It's not that I have anything to hide but I do feel so young in my faith. I'm filling out the online portion of the application today (even as I write this) and the questions that are asked leave me wondering how they'll see me. As the thought harasses me I think of what I've been telling myself: I need to remember Christ-esteem. He sees me as what I can be, the mold he created for me and I'm growing into. I know that as a teacher I learn from my students just as much, if not more than, they learn from me. Sometimes I fail...a lot. It happens but God's grace is sufficient. Every time I fall, he lifts me up and we continue walking together. I, of all people, should know just how merciful our God is.
          As much I feel "I want to grow up now!" I know I can't rush it. I see my friends (most of whom are younger than me) as these spiritual giants doing things for God and displaying knowledge I just don't have. I have to keep reminding myself of what one of them told me once: we are all at different stages of conviction. I can only view it as an encouragement to what God is making me to be. These friends do see the growth in me, growth I've felt. I must keep that Kingdom focus, seeking after God's will and praying that I will always be maturing in Christ as the Spirit leads.
          So now what? I don't know what future holds. I used to have a vague idea but now it's entirely hidden from my view. I used to think I'd graduate and begin teaching. I probably would not leave Arkansas. I don't see that now. I don't even know if I'll be teaching. I would laugh heartily if I married and then found myself in a foreign country with the job of stay-at-home mom. I'd be okay with that. The irony would be too much. I do know, though, that where I am and whatever I do I will find joy in it. As long as I pursue my relationship with God, he will give me the desire of my heart...which I've given up fighting and am now praying he conforms it to his will.

Question: is it okay to be alone with male friends?

          Something just occurred to me. I spend a lot of time with my male friends, usually it's in groups. I may even be the only girl but that's never really bothered anyone as far as I can tell. Sometimes, though, it's just me and one of them, in public or at a private residence. I'm young and unattached, usually they're similarly unattached.
          I can think of a few instances when I was out with a male friend and the people around us assume we're together. If we're working with a group of people that don't know us, they will ask or or both of us. When it comes to checks while eating out, the waiter will ask "together?" and they won't even add "or separate" to the question.
          I love them all dearly...as friends, brothers even, but is that okay? I'm okay with it. They seem to be okay with it (usually). I keep some physical distance. I'm never alone with a male friend in a private setting for very long. Actually, I can't think of an instance in which it was just me and a guy at my place or his alone for any appreciable length of time. No one's tried to make a pass or anything. As far as I know, no one's interested in me that way. That may be due to the fact (at least in part) that I've made it clear I'm not looking for a relationship in this stage of my life.

          Still, I wonder. What do you think?

I do it for love, love, love, love

Babe, I know that it's your soul but you could you bottle it up and get down to the heart of it. No, it's my heart you're straight out of your luck. Don't make me tell you again, my love, love, love, love...

          This is for family, friends, and those who seek my (romantic) love. I'd been meaning to write this for a while, just to put into writing what has been solidifying and clarifying in my mind. Recent events, though, prompt me to finally post this.

          The short message is: For the foreseeable future I am not looking to date, much less get into a relationship (serious or not) or especially marriage. I may not be "taken" but I am unavailable.

          It'd be easy to get into my views on dating and marriage in general but I'll restrict this to my own relationship status. The longer message stems from "I'm not ready" and "It wouldn't be fair to my partner". So why don't I want to date? Why do I not care about marriage right now?

1. I'm not mature enough to be in a relationship other friendship. I couldn't be the girlfriend who'd deserve the kind of guy I want (and that hopefully God has planned for me). I won't bog you down with details and turn this into a confession of every little thing I can think of that's wrong with me.
   
2. I'm focused on other things right now. I'm still in school and it seems I can barely get that right. I'm focusing on my faith, too. They're both things that require vigilance, diligence and persistence. I can only focus on so many things at once and right now I feel I'm capacity.
   
3. It's irrational and emotions are not to be trusted. I can't think of a good reason to be in a romantic relationship nor do I have any desire for one. There's this wall around me that I cannot penetrate. I've prayed for God to guard my heart, it would seem He's also guarding my mind.

The unforeseeable future
          God may have a husband in mind for me someday. If so, wonderful. If not, well that's fine, too. For now, it's not happening. It would literally take divine intervention for me to change my mind. It's taken divine intervention to get me to this place, it'll take it to move me out.
          Every time I realize that I find someone even remotely attractive, I immediately pray for God to guard my heart and guide my will. I assume the object of interest is unavailable and/or unsuitable (or that I'm unsuitable for them). Basically, I cut off the idea until the whim passes. I assume that if it's meant to be in the more immediate future, it'll last and God will work out.
          Does this mean I'm entirely against it? Not really I just think it's pointless right now. I'm happy being friends, getting to know someone that way. It's very low pressure and lots of room to love. Why would I want to be with someone that I couldn't be friends with? Love of the romantic sort may come in time. When I decide to, I won't hold back and I won't let go. Until then, just leave it alone. Pushing it will only push me away.

Summer going, going...almost gone

          I'm always startled to notice how quickly time passes. You think I'd be used to it by now. Time is a strange entity, though. So many memories feel simultaneously like yesterday and a lifetime ago. Talking with a friend yesterday [wait, yesterday? yeah], she expressed the same perception of time. Days run together, a month is more like a fortnight. Even now, I realized I spent a good four to six hours updating the design on my blog. Websites are too finicky about their image sizes. :/
          So what has happened in the past....six weeks? [cue more time shock] God pointed out Cris's boldness in sharing his faith with others; a boldness born out of love. Only then, did my mind finally rest on that issue. A couple days later, I stumbled onto another person's life. Somehow, I'm being a light in it. Another thing with God written all over it. I can only hope it continues to be Him and not me.
          My time as Guild Master of Hieratic is coming to a close. It was fun but I'll be glad to hand it off to another Commander come Sunday. I've never really considered myself a leader but here I am, herding cats across the internet. Those cats are the reason I keep coming back to WoW. I don't care about the game half as much as I do them. Sure, I like the quests & lore, hanging out in a fantasy world, imagining an epic tale revolving around my character...but if the game ended tomorrow I'd only really miss my friends.
          Speaking of games, I've gotten more into gaming-themed channels. I've been a fan of TotalBiscuit (aka the Cynical Brit, TotalHalibut on Youtube) for several months now. More recently I've followed Jesse Cox (OMFGCata on youtube). Through him, I've started keeping up with Aevynne, Chiib (Iamchiib on Youtube) on Chiib's sister Trish (WoWAcai). I'm really enjoying the content they put out. It's entertaining for so many reasons. It kind of takes me back to when my brother and I were younger. I used to watch him play video games more than I played them. He was always better than me, anyway. lol. It's also nice to see the co-operative play. I can't quite figure out why, maybe it's fun to see friends playing together and laughing about how badly they're doing. Who knows?

          Class was fun. I usually like my education classes. I took "Content Literacy Development" for the first summer session. I learned a lot about teaching reading and comprehension. There were so many useful strategies I can use. The class got me reading again. I had to read Speak for the class; a wonderful piece of young adult literature. On my own, I read Napoleon's Buttons and The Disappearing Spoon (which I'm still reading).
          As usual, I was TA for a chemistry lab. This time it was physiological chemistry 2, now called "Introduction to Organic and Biochemistry". Dr. Isom was a cool professor to work with. I'm assisting for the same class for the second summer session but with Dr. Yarberry. She writes so neatly on the board. I'm a little envious, to be honest.

          One last thing, my roommate is moving out. We didn't have a fight or anything like that. It was just time. God had a hand in it (naturally). That leaves me needing a roommate, however. I'm trusting that God will work it out. Either I'll get a roommate, another place will open up or I actually make enough from being a TA to keep the financial burden down for my parents. I suppose we'll see. :)

          I just realized I haven't eaten in about eight or nine hours, lol. Time and time again, you foil me, Time. Here's to hoping I spend it wisely.

Memories and mulling

          Of all the endings that have occurred in past several weeks, the most sudden and jarring was the end of my friend's life. Cris was a good friend of mine and a brother in Christ. It's weird realizing that I'll not see him again in this life. I'm also confounded by how I'm grieving. I don't really feel as if I am. Sure, I've shed a few tears but no great sobs, constant sniffles or hours of being inconsolable. I'm just not as emotional as some. I try to focus on going about my days like I have been. I get up, go to class, go to lab, do homework, play WoW, go to church and hang out with friends. Distraction makes it easier.
          Then there are times I find myself processing, reliving memories that have faded all too quickly. I have to dig them up, like carrots, and wash the dirt off before I can see them clearly. I often forget where I plant them, it seems. That's frustrating. However, I found a few choice carrots and slowly I brush off the dirt, finding little nuances I'd forgotten.

BeachReach '09
          BeachReach is a lot of things (like a spring break mission trip involving pancakes, sand and reaching the drunken masses of students), for me it was a spiritual honeymoon. Days before I joined other volunteers from the baptist collegiate ministry (BCM) I was involved with at the time on this venture, I made a leap of faith and decided to trust God with my life. Cris was one of the others that went. I didn't really know him until we went on this mission trip. Over that week, we talked and got to know each other better. I was impressed at how diligently he worked, his focus, and his humor. Talking over pancakes, burying himself in the sand, hearing of how well he managed with the call center and getting attacked by his roommates with pillows, the random silliness on the ride back... I was so impressed that I developed an infatuation with him. Looking back, I still ask, "What's not to like? To love?" but I was already dating someone and clearly God had other plans.

Organic Chemistry 2
          The following spring, we were lab partners in a chemistry class. I already love chemistry and labs, the professor is one of my favorites but Cris made that lab so much more enjoyable. I don't know how he put up with me, I often told him he was doing it wrong and did very little work (well, it seems like it looking back) One lab, we didn't have the glass stir rod needed to mix the chemicals together. Cris, the creative problems-solver, decided that an NMR tube was a great alternative. I expressed my hesitation at using it but he insisted it would be fine.

Glass stir rods are cheap and plentiful in most chemical labs.	NMR tubes are less common and far more expensive. That's all that matters to the story.

          The professor walks over and freaks out a little (maybe more than a little) at our using an NMR tube and locates glass stirring rod for us. Naturally, I pointed out that I thought it was a bad idea. It goes without saying I should have gotten a glass stir rod myself. We could have avoided the chiding. We all laughed about it in recent months.
          Another lab probably half way through the semester, Cris expressed surprised at me smiling. I remember asking, "In the past year we've been friends you haven't seen me smile once?" "Nope," he said. I've laughed. Well yes, but not smiled. I'm sure I have and for some reason he never saw, I guess. I can assure you he saw plenty more since then.
          At the end of that semester, I got out early out of a really rough physics test and decided to go watch his group's presentation on a project they'd worked on in another class. I remember coming in when he was getting grilled with questions by our organic chem professor. Cris had been asked to draw the mechanism of a reaction. I saw where he missed an atom coming off (or coming in) and thought "Oh, oh, it's right there, get it!" and silently cheered (in my head) when he got it. I was so proud. After the presentation, he thanked me for showing up, especially since I had a test. (I was going to fail that class anyway, haha).

And time passed
          I'm sorry I didn't keep in regular contact with him the past few months. He was a teaching assistant for one of my labs (the same one that he did a presentation on) but I was more worried about getting the lab done and done right that catching up with him. We ran into each other in the halls of the chemistry building now and then as well as in my few visits to the BCM. We even attended the same conference in October. I remember staying late one day after a lab and talking with Cris and Dr. Mauldin about chemistry and teaching, what we'd learned and our hopes for the future. We can make all the plans we want but sometimes, God says nope, come on home.
          I can't imagine how some of you are feeling; how you're dealing with it. I rest on the simple fact that Cris was a Christian. The proof of his relationship with God was in how he lived his life. I won't ever see him again in this life but I know I'll see him in the next.

11 things for the end of Spring '11 at UCA

1. Why did I initially look for socks in my file cabinet?
   
2. I will miss having students to tutor and TA for (at least until Summer I starts).
   
3. I won't miss them asking questions they'd know the answer to if they'd listened to what the professor said less than two minutes ago.
   
4. I will miss my friends and many classmates who will be graduating this semester.
   
5. Why doesn't UCA offer an education minor?
   
6. I play WoW like most people drink. Take that as you will.
   
7. So I quit biochem because I was failing but auditing to the end was worth it if only to hear Dr. Kelley say repeatedly, "Keep your dress down." throughout the final lecture on content. [sorry, inside joke]
   
8. I often wonder how my friends put up with me.
   
9. Sometimes I wonder how I put up with them.
   
10. Still, I love them more than they may ever realize.
    
11. My immediate response to virtually everything is quickly becoming crying out to God. I'd say that's a good thing.

Spring awakens

          This semester has brought some interesting challenges and insights in most areas of my life. Let's start with school.
          I'm not taking any education courses but watching the professors for my classes, teaching the labs I TA for and even a little in research I'm still picking up things. Mainly it's seeing what a good teacher looks like in action. It's encouraging.
          Dr. Kelley is kind of crazy but she's cool. She really forces you to apply the knowledge you're supposed to be learning. However, I'm...failing her class. I just don't know how to study. It's all descriptive and there's no homework. I'm terrible at memorizing stuff. In that sense it's like biology, which I hate with a passion. Maybe I should ask the students that are doing well how they study...I'm figuring out how to put together my minireview. If I can do okay on that, the rest of the tests and do well on the case studies I could pass. Maybe.
          Physics is much better. When I took it a year ago I was convicted of the fact that I could've had a good grade if I'd studied. This semester is proof of that. I have a mid to high B according to my calculations. I do fairly well on the homework and keeping up with labs; my first test was an A and I feel I did at least a B job on the second (I should find out this coming week).
          As usual, I love being a TA. Mondays are bit more gophering and babysitting but it's cool to see the students do labs I've worked on in research. Wednesdays are a test, to be sure. I don't know if it's the students, the instructor's classroom management style/philosophy is different from mine or both but it's a very draining two hours. Thursdays are great, though. Once again, I see the professor's emotional investment in his students. He is genuinely upset when students don't do well. He wants them to do well. I understand his pain. I feel it when there's a streak of poor answers in the labs I grade. I want to cry, I sometimes laugh and I get exhausted. Despite the drawbacks, I wouldn't trade it for anything.
          On the spiritual front, had a bit of a scrape. A couple Wednesdays ago, had a conversation after church that left me feeling we'd made the enemy angry. Later, when I tried to get to bed, I wasn't allowed to. It took some serious prayer, reading of the Bible, and singing, all with Desi's help, for it to go away. It wasn't fun. On the good side of things, God's keeping me fairly sane about life in general. School isn't overwhelming (yeah, yeah, it's only two classes but with the three labs my days can fill up pretty easily).
          God's definitely been working on my heart. He told me to cut off a false hope I was imparting to dear friend. I love how I've prayed a few times for God to take my heart and seal it, now I just don't care about dating at all. I figure God will prompt me to open my heart at the right time. I also pour a lot of love into my friends. They take care of me and I do what I can for them. It's how being single should be. It's not lonely by any means. It's full of love and joy and caring for each other.
          I think I know myself pretty well, but I keep learning more things. I suppose I'll never completely understand myself. I'm okay with that. I really need to figure out when it's okay to brush off others' (I think) overly emotional reactions to things I say/do and when I should address them. Let's just be honest here: I'm blunt. Sometimes that offends people. I often don't mean anything one way or the other, but people (mainly...never mind) often misunderstand my meaning. It's difficult for me to predict when something will elicit a negative reaction. It's rather frustrating. Having a strong thinking preference with little knowledge of (or even caring about) about social conventions and taboos can be an impediment.
          Desi posited an idea that I did not immediately answer: maybe I'm afraid of emotion. We were talking about fears, real fear, not like my deep hatred of spiders but of failure or rejection, something like that. I mentioned that I couldn't think of one. I'm sure I have them but even now I cannot think of any. So I ask you, do you think I fear having emotions? Perhaps I fear romantic relationships? Ian had mentioned that it's great and all that I'm called to be single for the moment but not to bash those wanting to be with someone.
          I don't think I'm against relationships and feelings. There is a time and place for them. I embrace the emotions I feel are appropriate. I may not be as expressive as my roommate but I feel every bit as intensely if not more so. When it comes to relationships I advocate calculated risk-taking. Don't be afraid of a negative answer to a query for affection but know what it is you truly want from the relationship. It is what you think need or is it truly something you can pour yourself into? I don't want to be in a relationship if I'm not all in.
          Well, I'm rambling. Thanks for reading if you made it this far.
          TL;DR Biochem is kicking my butt. Physics is getting pwned. TAing is still awesome but tiring. Am I afraid of my own emotions? Maybe, but still waters run deep. Am I against relationships? Go for it, so long as your motives are pure. It's just not the right time for me.

Brooding Walls
          Today was not a bad day by any means but it wasn't great either. I feel a bit melancholy. I'm inclined to blame biology: poor sleep habits and other fun stuff probably wrecking into my peace. Well, maybe it's more than biology...We were talking in church tonight about spiritual warfare (reading Corinthians 10:3-6) and one thing that came up was tearing down walls. We need to be open with each other and share our struggles so that we can build each other up and strengthen the Body of Christ (not continue to wallow in our dysfunctionality). We talked about ways to tear the walls down and prevent them from building up in the first place.
          All this didn't really sink in until the ride home when I'd realized a few walls of my own had gone up. Every day I didn't read my Bible, didn't talk meaningfully with God and allow myself to be totally led by the spirit was another brick on that wall. The mortar is apathy and the bricks that should be used to build the Kingdom are instead being added to the wall. I can kind of tell when I'm allowing my spiritual muscles to atrophy: I waste my time more, my head gets full of useless junk that muddles my thoughts and feelings, things just don't seem in line and my resilience for life's ups and downs (even the minor ones) just goes to pot. I hate it. I feel unwell (on so many levels), a little (a lot) dirty and rather unhappy (if not downright blue).
          This is the part where many Christians stumble and simply give up. That's not how it goes. If you find yourself tripping up, check where you're going, reorient towards Him and get moving again. It's that simple. Hey, I didn't say it was easy. So now that I've realized I'm stumbling on rocks (because, hey, I'm off the trail) I'm going to focus on the goal and get back on track. Everything else will fall back into place, or (at least) things that aren't falling perfectly in place won't seem like that big a deal.

Learning is awesome
          So, about school: I'm...not hating it. I'd be enjoying it more if I wasn't on a spiritual detour. Physics isn't so bad and Biochem is a lot of fun with Dr. Kelley. I've lately been of the opinion that scientists are bit a strange; chemists are crazy but biochemists are on another level. Dr. Kelley is proof this. It's entertaining and she's actually a pretty good teacher. She states often that she wants us to think on our feet. Most of my classmates are pre-med, pre-pharm, pre-something-really-hard-and-maybe-life-saving so she wants to be able to trust these people with such important things. I've decided to pay attention to how she teaches that. I'd like to pass that on to my students (just because I'm not taking an education class doesn't mean I'm not thinking about it).
          First labs are picking up this week (finally!). Monday's organic 2 lab was...interesting. Everyone was lost and even though I'd worked on this reaction for several weeks last semester it had been at least two months so I was a bit unsure when answering questions. A few of the students weren't so happy about how their reactions were going but I assured them it was all right. We make mistakes, figure out what went wrong and move on. Another simple-but-not-easy thing to do. I was very open about sharing my mishaps in lab with the students to lessen their tension and dismay when it seemed things weren't going quite right.
          On a tangent, I've realized I don't really care about being wrong anymore. This is mainly in the context of learning: answering questions in class and working on assignments, etc. When I get it wrong, that's okay! It's an opportunity to learn. Yes, indeed. Trust me, when you get it wrong and then find your way to what is correct, you've learned it better than simply getting it right the first time. So be bold and be wrong! Then learn so you'll be more awesome than you were before. Praise God! I get excited just thinking about it. lmao.

          Well, this has been cathartic. If you've read this far, I'm impressed. Thank you. I love you. Marry me. Well...don't set a date.
Bye! [enthusiastic wave]

Mishal's chewy chocolate chip cookies

          I worked from the original Toll House recipe and Alton Brown's chewy alteration to come up with this recipe. I was going for a more tender, chewy cookie. I switched out a small amount of the vanilla extract for rum extract because I like to put it in all my deserts (lol). For some reason, rum extract tastes more like rum than adding real rum to recipes (lol, again). Not to mention it's a dry county and I don't drink. You can do all vanilla or add your own twist (mint or orange are good alternatives).
          I baked the half-recipe this morning (made about 16 cookies) but I doubled it here for more goodness. Let me know how yours turn out. :)

Ingredients

• 2 ¼ cups all-purpose flour
  
• ½ teaspoon salt
  
• 1 teaspoon baking soda
  
• ¼ cup granulated sugar
  
• 1 ¼ cup packed brown sugar
  
• 2 sticks (about 1 cup) butter, sliced into chunks and softened
  
• 1 ½ teaspoon vanilla extract
  
• ½ teaspoon rum extract
  
• ¼ cup (approx.) milk [probably won’t use it all]
  
• 2 eggs
  
• 2 cup semi-sweet chocolate chip morsels

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 350 °F.
   
2. In a small bowl sift together the flour, salt and baking soda.
   
3. In a large bowl, mash granulated sugar, brown sugar and butter together with a fork until slightly mixed. [Adding milk by teaspoonfuls, if needed] Beat sugar-butter mixture on low speed until creamy.
   
4. Add eggs one at a time, beat well after each addition. Add flavor extracts.
   
5. Add flour mixture in 3-4 parts. You may need to add a few teaspoons of milk to maintain consistency.
   
6. Stir in chocolate chips.
   
7. Drop cookie dough by large teaspoonfuls onto an ungreased baking sheet (or you can cover the sheet in parchment paper) about 1 ½ to 2 inches apart. Bake for about ten minutes or until brown on the edges. Let cool for 2-5 minutes before transferring to a wire rack to cool completely. Should yield about 2 ½ dozen cookies (depending on size).

Oh, a year has passed?

          Well, it's a new year. It honestly feels like the last one had started three weeks ago. There was a lot of learning for me this year, not only in school but life in general (college tends to do that). I feel a bit out of touch, not sure why. Doesn't really matter, I guess.
          My laptop is in its last days. A sickly creature from the start...after 17 months, it's time has come. My brother will build me a new computer soon. It'll be an awesome desktop and cost will probably be half that of a decent laptop; considering mobility isn't really important and I can work in the library with a flash drive if I need to, a home-built desktop is totally cool with me. He plans to order the parts when he gets back from New Orleans for the Sugar Bowl. (He plays in the Razorback band.) Show your support for Arkansas with my Hogwild deviantART journal skin. :)

          Anyway, the laptop's graphics card is all but burned out, we suspect. As such, I can't play World of Warcraft. Instead of wasting my time playing that game (or getting frustrated in my attempt to play), I figure I'll get into my creative interests once more and hope that this old-before-its-time laptop can handle photoshop. So keep an eye out for a new journal skin or so. I think I'll get back to the 100 themes challenge. I've only done four so far but I have ideas for a few more. Feel free to suggest a theme or give a tip on how to go about one of the 96 themes left.
          Well, here's to a better year than the last.
-Mishal