Something just occurred to me. I spend a lot of time with my male friends, usually it's in groups. I may even be the only girl but that's never really bothered anyone as far as I can tell. Sometimes, though, it's just me and one of them, in public or at a private residence. I'm young and unattached, usually they're similarly unattached.
I can think of a few instances when I was out with a male friend and the people around us assume we're together. If we're working with a group of people that don't know us, they will ask or or both of us. When it comes to checks while eating out, the waiter will ask "together?" and they won't even add "or separate" to the question.
I love them all dearly...as friends, brothers even, but is that okay? I'm okay with it. They seem to be okay with it (usually). I keep some physical distance. I'm never alone with a male friend in a private setting for very long. Actually, I can't think of an instance in which it was just me and a guy at my place or his alone for any appreciable length of time. No one's tried to make a pass or anything. As far as I know, no one's interested in me that way. That may be due to the fact (at least in part) that I've made it clear I'm not looking for a relationship in this stage of my life.
Still, I wonder. What do you think?
2 comments:
Sounds like you're handling it well. I can understand the awkward that comes with paying for a meal, but to be fair, people have asked me whether I'm with my sister! Dude, I was just standing with her at Wal-Mart! Misunderstandings may arise on the part of observers - we were again thought an item when traveling together in England - and the same might happen with another single friend, but if it's public, then I think that's okay.
In private is another matter. I typically spend only a short amount of time alone with a girl. I usually try to keep a door open. If it's her place and no one else is showing up, then I'll try to politely slip away sharpish, if it's my place, I try to find a reason for us to go someplace public.
To be honest, I've not been 100% with this rule, but I like to think, "NEVER be alone with someone of the opposite sex - single or otherwise." It just seems healthier that way.
Peace out!
Thanks for the input, Max!
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