Strings around my heart

          There was a Stargate Universe watch party last night. Matt made tres leche cake with vanilla frosting and brownies. The food was to die for. There were a lot of people that showed up, it wouldn't have been anywhere near as fun to watch alone. We had Drew, Grace, Ali and Aaron, Caleb, Max, Matt, Katie and Grant (not the same Katie as my brother's g/f), Trevor, and Ian showed up later. All that nerdiness in one room, it was awesome. We all played some Smash Bros. for the Wii. I failed but it was fun anyway. :D
          The show itself wasn't bad. It'll take some time to get used to the new characters. It was kind of funny, I let out a girly squeal when General O'Neill showed up. After the show we hung out for a while and screwed around. Grace was made into a burrito and carried around for a while. Ian and a couple others climbed up to their second floor balcony from the back side of the building. We watched some videos on youtube, including a few "[insert movie name here] in 5 seconds" videos and a Watchmen/Wall-E trailer mash up.
          It was a bit strange for me being around Matt again for such an extended period of time after being apart for so many months. It seems I have some attachment to him as more than a friend, perhaps his being a bit more mature (not that I'm a great model of it all the time) had something to do with it. I love him; as my friend, my brother in Christ but I can't let this get to me. There's a reason I broke up with him (actually, a few reasons) and I doubt those will change. When you squirm and feel so uncomfortable that you want to scream and run away when your boyfriend is being affectionate there's a problem.
          I don't regret the relationship because I learned from it; but I see what went wrong. Allowing myself to be pressured into it and breaking my rule of "just friends for at least two weeks" (to see if it's more than infatuation) was the just the beginning. We're meant to be friends, maybe even very close friends but not boyfriend and girlfriend. He deserves someone better than me. I'm sure a little more time apart (which should be easy considering our schedules) and I should be all right. I've already convinced myself that I'd have to be extremely sure of how I feel to even think about a second chance. As I've said, these feelings will pass and all will be normal (relatively).
          Wow, it's getting late. I'm looking forward to church tomorrow morning, a possible lunch, and costume shopping if all goes according to plan. For now, a shower will be just the thing to end my week.